The Whistler (website)/January 1998

Muddy Galoshes Edition

January, 1998  [Note:  The URL indicates that the issue was published on January 16th.]

Underground Tunnels Discovered!
Anyone who's gone to WPJH knows the rumor about a network of tunnels running under the school -- but until yesterday, nobody really believed it. That's when Sharla Norvell and Bo Pesanski broke ground in the center of the quad during lunch, covered in dirt! There are indeed tunnels, and Sharla and Bo have explored them!

Local TV crews arrived on the scene to document the biggest Whistling Pines' archeological discovery since a Sabertoothed Tiger incisor was dug up behind the bowling alley on Main Street.

"Yeah, they're real," said Norvell, uncomfortable with the hoopla. "Big deal." "We were looking for an undercover way to sneak off campus," explained Pesanski. "Too bad we got caught. Woulda been the perfect escape route."

School authorities plan an official excavation of the tunnels, which they believe were created to provide access to underground fallout shelters in the 1950s.

Snow People Take Over Teachers' Lounge
In what could be the most daring student prank yet, teachers arrived back at school on the Monday after Winter break to find replicas of themselves, sculpted in snow and posed in life-like positions in the teachers' lounge!

An icy version of Mrs. Lutzi, whistle and all, melted into the leather sofa, causing permanent damage. The culprits are still at large.

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