The Whistler (website)/April 1998

Arbor Day Edition

April [17th], 1998

Who Fooled Who?
This time the joke was on the joker.

Students arriving at WPJH the morning of April 1st were shocked to see what appeared to be a crime scene surrounding the faculty lounge. Classes were abuzz with rumors about an April Fools joke gone bad, namely, that a number of ravenous goats had been left in the lounge and had eaten everything in sight -- exams, grade books, even Miss Chen's laptop computer! By noontime, noted prankster Ruben Rosales was in custody, escorted to Principal Herrera's office by Mr. Dufus, the school security guard.

After cooling his heels for an hour outside her office, the hapless student was finally subjected to an intense grilling session by no less than four members of the faculty. There seemed to be no way that Rosales could avoid being suspended -- or even expelled -- for this latest escapade.

Before a final decision could be made, however, science teacher Bob "Blast-off" Schuliss hustled Rosales to a cafeteria crowded with students and staff, all of whom shouted "April Fools!"

The king of kidding was so flabbergasted that he fell flat on his back and had to be helped up by classmates Cleve Goodstaff and Chaz Franklin.

"I can't believe it!" was Ruben's comment. "First I'm in Mrs. H's office, sweating it out, thinking I'm finally gonna get it -- for a crime I didn't even commit! Then suddenly I'm in front of all these kids and teachers, who are laughing at me! It was intense, man..."

School officials, who wish to remain unknown, say planning for the hoax began last April Fools Day, soon after Ruben's now-famous 'rubber ball and seaweed' prank.

"There were never any goats," explained a smiling Principal Herrera. "We just wanted to teach Ruben a lesson -- and maybe get him back for all the tricks he's played on us the past two years."

Did it work? Judge for yourself. Before leaving the cafeteria, Rosales was heard to say:

"What a totally cool prank, man... I wish I'd thought of it!"

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Song Lyrics Rock Ruben!
"Hey, thanks for sending me all those rare lyrics, I was riffin' and rappin' just readin' em! Check out CatPurple's winner song in my music book. Sorry you couldn't all fit into it, but here's a list of MY fave runners-up! Rock on!" -- Ruben {| border="0" width="600" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" Rocking and Rolling -- LauraBeth & SunnyLB Yo my name is Ruben -- BarbieGirl10 Balding Baldus -- KickinNicky In Homeroom -- ClareC Rockett -- YourDreamGal Lunch Time Again -- Nikie13 Popular Girls -- Emmogreat Dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum -- Poprock
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Pine To Break Ground For Arbor Day Celebration
WPJH's famous mysterious mascot, The Pine, was selected today as official leader of local Arbor Day festivities. A crowd of photojournalists snapped the colorful character holding out a spring sapling in front of the school.

"It's been a rough winter, and a lot of old trees blew down during the storms," explained Mayor Mosley Gone. "It's our intention to re-beautify our streets and yards with new growth. He...or she...will lead a parade of citizens to the Penny Perkins Park'n' Play. After a round of speeches and refreshments, everyone will scatter and begin planting."

Principal Herrera, acting as The Pine's spokesperson, said "We are both thrilled at this opportunity to serve our community."

"Three's A Crowd" Voting Results
Whitney got the big chill from Nicole when newcomer Stephanie wanted to be friends. Here's what you thought Whitney should do about it:

Go find a new friend and dump Nicole. 6475 votes

Invite Nicole and Stephanie to do something cool with you. 10893 votes

Wait for Nicole to get bored and dump Stephanie. 1256 votes

Tell Nicole to choose between you and Stephanie. 3068 votes

The Whistler's Question of the Month
Where are you going for spring break?

Arnold Zeitbaum  I have every intention of going to the mysterious Area 42 top secret air force base and freeing the captive Zorgon starship crew.

Whitney Weiss  My family is going to Three Flags Over Whistling Pines. They have a new roller coaster that sounds really cool.

Miko Kajiyama  My folks are dragging me along on some weird Antarctica expedition to study krill. I am NOT thrilled, even if it is scientific... Couldn't we have read up on it instead?

Bo Pezanski  I think I'll just stay home, rent a few videos, and veg out. I work hard enough the rest of the time, right?
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