Rockett's Secret Diary/Entries

The following are the journal entries that appear in Rockett's diary to Meg whenever a player makes a choice in the Rockett Series.

For entries in the Whistling Pines planner in Rockett's locker, Rockett Movado/Journal Entries & Notes

New School
[TBA]

Scene 1-1sad
October 27, countdown to Halloween.

Hey Meggie Muffin. Here it is practically halloween and (next episode in my life story) things are NOT ideal! Don't even think about parties! That's what I'm telling myself right now. Do you know how hard it is to kind of know everyone but not be really that close with anyone yet? Meggie Muffin, if you were here-or the better thing-if I was there, this would NOT be happening! Which party you go to is so important! I mean it tells what group you belong with or something. Why can't I just go to any party and be in any group? I don't want to be looked at as in one group and not another. There are people I like everywhere. People in every group, I mean. If I was at home, I'd go with you and we'd know exactly the party we should be at. (Brian's right? Or I wonder if someone else is having one this year) But either way, everything would be really good. And simple. But now I live here and everything is CRAZZZZZZZY!!

Translation: This morning Miko invited me to a Halloween party at Nakili's. Then, right after I say of course I'll come to it, I find out Max is also having a party that night. AND that Ruben's band is playing there. Darn!! Of course I didn't get invited to Max's which shows exactly how popular I am and that I'm not exactly a One or anything. But what if I did get invited to Max's???? Even though I'm sure I won't. Life is too complicated sometimes!

Scene 1-1mad
October 27, countdown to Halloween.

Hey Meggie Muffin, best faraway friend-My adventure continues! Latest situation: There's this party thing. I mean, I got invited to one, for this Saturday night, but then there's this other one that I DIDN'T get invited to-at least not yet. But even though I really do want to go to the first one (Nakili's), part of me is totally steamed about the other one (Max's) because I'm sure it's going to be so good, and of course all the most popular kids are going to be there. I found out about it by accident from hearing the snobbery sisters (Nicole and Whitney) talking about it in the hall. What am I going to do?!

Scene 1-1glad
October 27, countdown to Halloween.

Hey Meggie Muffin! The weekend is getting closer and here's the latest chapter in my adventure! I think I told you last week on the phone that Miko and Nakili were coming over to my house after school and everything. So it turned out to be pretty fun. We spent about two hours just talking and laughing and having a really good time. They were looking at practically every single thing in my room (The Museum, as you call it!) and asking me questions all about everything. I kind of think maybe they want me to be in their group (CSGs) but not sure. WHAT DO YOU THINK CSG STANDS FOR?! They were even looking at my bulletin board where all the stuff is that you keep sending me (you are so funny and great, by the way!) They saw that little note you sent me a couple weeks ago about our NEXT BIRTHDAY and thought it was so sweet. (I brought it to school today and have it in my locker to be reminded.) Now I just got invited to their halloween party (at Nakili's). Cool! Except right after I said yes, I found out Max is having one the same night. Which I did NOT get invited to (it kind of bugs me, but don't tell anyone!). No more time to write. Later!

Scene 2-1sad
MM, I really wish we could just talk right now. I mean, I could use a pep talk big time. Let's see. How would you pump me up after somebody blew the wind out of my sails by calling me a wimp? I am not a wimp! Am I?

You know what, I probably am. But at least not about things dumb Dana thinks I am. I mean, Nicole is MUCH scarier than some phoney toad or whatever, brought to school by Ruben. Okay, yes, I admit it. I did kind of gag when he started waggling it in my face. But who wouldn't?!

Scene 2-1mad
Hey MM, I am boiling! Ya know how some people can just bring out the worst in you? I always try to keep cool and be nice to everybody, and but today, right in the middle of science, I get into it with this girl Dana (my twin from the first day, remember?). She just likes to bug me for some reason. I wish I could just let everything she says roll off my back, but she gets to me so bad I want to EXPLODE--or at least bite her head off! But her two best friends and other CSGs are really nice. And I feel like if I don't act nice to Dana then Miko and Nakili won't like me and probably won't let me into their group. If you'd  been there, I'm sure you would've known exactly how to act. Not me!

Scene 2-1glad
Checking in again, MM. It's like sometimes I think I'm totally out of place here. Practically two months of eighth grade have already happened and I still kind of feel like I don't know where I fit in or who should be my best friends (I mean after you, of course) or anything. I mean, sometimes it bugs me big time that I'm not a real part of any group or anything. But then I have these moments when I kind of like being a free agent. During those times, I can just SO easily deal with people like cranky freckle head Dana St. Clair when she asks for it (which she really did today), and totally play it cool with Ruben (even when he does stupid jokes like trying to scare a person with FAKE frog legs or whatever. He did, I swear!)

Scene 2-2mad
I CAN'T STAND IT when somebody tries to tell me what I'm thinking and feeling! That's just one of the million gazillion things that's so great about you, Meggie. It never seems like you ever try to put words in my mouth. And at least when you tell me what you think I'm thinking, you're usually completely right! So totally UNLIKE this Mavis person I got stuck with in science lab today. I hate to say this but she is kind of weird sometimes. Like, she acts like she can see right through a person. Like she thinks she knows me better than I do! Ha! (The only weird thing is, what she was saying, that I'm crushing on this guy Ruben and that I'm jealous of Dana and stuff, is maybe sort of right. Which is probably what got me so steamed. Am I THAT transparent?!) I wish you weren't so far away right now!who wouldn't?!

Scene 2-2glad
I would've given anything if you were in science class with me today, Meg. We would've had the absolute best time goofing on the Strange Boy of the century (Arnold, I probably told you about him). He's kind of off in his own universe, you could say. As in, he doesn't have a clue! He has this HUGE crush on Whitney, I've heard, one of the Ones. Everyone says she goes out with him but she told me a totally different story. So after class, I asked Arnold, what are you and Whitney doing this weekend? (Just kinda like a joke, of course!) And do you know what he told me? He goes, "I am going to transform into a large beetle (he said the real name of it but don't expect me to remember it!) and carry her off to my bug pod." !!!!  I mean it! He really did.

Scene 2-2sad
Well, I'm not AT ALL in the most fantastic mood right now, Meg! One minute I'm in science lab with some pretty cool people (Ruben especially) and the next minute I'm slammed back to the back of the room with Mavis and the Zitbomb! I'm sure now Ruben thinks I'm a total loser. I felt SO left out of what he, Dana and Stephanie were doing that I could hardly function. Do you think that once you get a reputation as being one way, it's hard to be thought of in a better way? You know how you get pegged and that's the way people see you and they're not going to change their minds?! I pray that does NOT happen to me here. Plus, I am feeling so lonely right now I can hardly stand it!

Scene 3-1wit
MM, how can a person be all upset about having to go to one party (the one I promised I'd go to) when they didn't even get invited to the other party? It does NOT make sense but that's kind of my feeling right now. I wish that Nakili's party wasn't the same night as Max's, then I wouldn't have to worry about it even if I DID get invited. The way it stands now, with both parties on the same night, I feel like I'm greedy or two-faced or something for wanting to go to Max's so much. I don't want to hurt Nakili's feelings. She and Miko have mostly been really nice to me (even though they won't include me in all their secret CSG stuff). Sometimes this whole school scene seems like one giant play, and I'm supposed to try out for a part. Only I don't know what part I want to play!

special note: Maybe try that thing Mavis gave me and see if it works. Do you know what I'm talking about, best friend? (more about it later!) It's in my locker and it looks really cool. But I don't know what to exactly do with it. Mavis has a book in HER locker that explains it, but she won't let me see it!

Scene 3-1out
Me and my big mouth! MM, I kind of blew it just before by blabbering exactly what I was thinking. (You KNOW how I do that, I know you do!) See, I was in the girls' bathroom with Nakili and I started mentioning how I do NOT especially like hanging around you-know-who (Dana!), and then guess who pops out of a stall? RIGHT!

At first I felt so embarrassed, like my face must've been so red. But then I realized that I was just being honest so it shouldn't really matter exactly so I just tried to act basically nice and stuff. Which maybe worked. Or anyway, it seems like maybe Dana doesn't hold a grudge the way some people do because we actually started joking around about our science teacher instead of getting into a full scale fight. The only thing is, after that, Dana and Nakili took off together to some secrety CSG thing, leaving me in the dust--just when I was starting to feel cool about her. Ouch! I've GOT to find out what their little group is about and what they do. I'm dying of curiosity!!

Scene 3-1dis
I guess I should feel really psyched about Nakili's party and that she really cares about me being there. But the thing about Max's keeps bugging me. So when I saw her in the girls bathroom, I just tried to hint to her that I'm sort of having second thoughts. About her party, I mean. Mainly because Dana and I aren't exactly hitting it off. Plus (privare reason) I just kind of want to wait and see if MAYBE I might get invited to Max's, which I'd really liked to go to. And hear Debaser and everything. I think Nakili was a little upset. So it's like I just feel all this pressure from her to make sure I'm at her party. I hate this!!

Scene 3-2sad
I feel so terrible right now, Meg. Like I can't do anything right. Whitney says that whenever she messes up, she totally won't take the blame. She like turns it into someone else's problem or something. But I'm just not that way. I don't like making a mistake or saying stuff I regret later. Maybe I'm dwelling on it way too much, but I can't help it.

Also, costumes! Everyone's thinking about it, talking about it, and you wouldn't believe the Halloween events they've got planned here for Friday. There's a list of happenings in the Whistler (the school paper like thing), wait till you see it! Anyway, Jessie gave me the idea to do some sketches for costume ideas so maybe that will cheer me up. Let's hope so!

Scene 3-2mad
Meg, you wouldn't believe how unbelievably hard it is-you know, to hear all these people talking about Max's party, which I STILL have not been invited to. And I have no idea if I even will be. I'm not sure whether I should act like I don't care at all about it, and see if playing it cool gets me in. Or if I should maybe hint to somebody that I'd totally love to get invited. What would you do, Meggie, if you were me? After science Mavis goes, "Try the Elf Rune," meaning that thing she gave me. She acts so mysterious it's kind of dumb. But then I get curious about whatever she's talking about that I can NOT figure out!

Also, still curious:  Cold Snobby Geniuses? Confused Stuckup Geeks? Creeps Studying Guys?

Scene 3-2glad
So many people are talking about Max's party, Meggie, that I'm getting excited just IMAGINING being there. (Pretty bad when I didn't even get invited, huh? But I WILL, I swear!) Anyway, he's supposed to have a humongoid house and everything. And then of course Debaser. I really need to ask Mavis again what she told me about that Elf Rune thing she gave me. Not that I think it could really help me one bit. But at this point I feel like trying anything to get an invitation to you-know-who's!

I mean, it's like there's all this energy in the air or something and it's hard not to get caught up in it. Remember that one Halloween when we went trick-or-treating dressed up as the Siamese Twin Monsters from the Deep? How old were we? Like eight or nine? That was just so much fun, remember? I should go find those pictures and put them up in my locker! Or in the yearbook! What a riot!

Scene 3-3unw
I don't know if I just blew it or not, Meggie. These two girls just asked me to help them with their Halloween costumes for Max's party, and I turned them down flat out. I'd never met them before, and they just came up to me out of the blue asking for help. Which made me feel totally insecure! I mean, I don't even know what MY costume is going to be! How about these:

1.  Creature from the Murk Swamp (hah, just kidding!)

2.  Bride of Frankenstein! (maybe not kidding!)

3.  a harem girl  (is that exotic or totally stupid? Totally stupid, I think! That's like being a slave or something, isn't it?)

Scene 3-3ten
MM! If someone came up to you (who you didn't know) and started talking about how they heard you were really great at something, would you believe them? That's what happened to me just now! I'm in the bathroom when these two girls come up to me and introduce themselves and then ask me to help them make some really cool Halloween costumes after school. But I'm just not sure if I'd be able to help them much. I mean, what if they're expecting me to blow them away with like some fantastic ideas or something? And THEN, what if they didn't like anything I came up with? How embarrassing!

But there was something about them I really liked a lot (even though I said I wasn't sure I'd meet them). So, we'll see. I mean, it could be a chance for me to meet some more people. But I haven't even thought up a costume for ME yet, so everybody else might have to wait their turn! As you would probably say, I gotta hit the sketch book, fast!

Scene 3-3ent
I just met these two girls in the bathroom, Meggie, and they told me they'd heard ALL ABOUT my artistic abilities! Isn't that wild? It's kind of cool that I'm (sort of anyway) good at something and that my talent or whatever you want to call it turns out to be a thing that gets me noticed-in a good way, that is! These girls (Viva and Arrow) actually wanted me to help them with their Halloween costumes. Do you think they were just buttering me up with all those compliments to get help? Not sure. But whatever, it's okay. I mean, it's still nice to be wanted!

Scene 4-1sad
Remember the Supreme Leader of The Ones, Meggie? I mean Nicole? Well, she can say things that make a person feel like knives cutting right through them! Maybe I should work on getting back at her, you think? But I guess then I'd be as mean as she is, and I don't exactly want to be so hateful. I wish I could just blow her off, but she's SO popular (= powerful in a not so great way, you know?), so it's kind of hard to do. I wish something really hugely extremely embarrassing would happen to her so she'd look really stupid in front of everyone. Just ONCE! But till that happens, I think I'll just try to keep my distance.

Scene 4-1mad
Okay, Meggie, here is my latest Nicole report:  This afternoon I got into it with her in P.E. and I think if you'd have been there you would've seen like smoke coming out my ears or something. I mean I just told her off as much as I could! I'll bet if more people would stand up to her then she'd be forced to stop terrorizing the world. And I would just LOVE to see her in my shoes, having to start all over in a new school and everything, you know? I'm sure she'd get plenty of attention for the way she looks and all, but she would NOT be able to RULE the way she does here at Whistling Pines. She'd probably actually have to be nice to people for once. But I doubt she has a nice bone in her bony little body! ARGGGGG!

Scene 4-1glad
Do you think it's possible that somebody who acts totally snobby and mean could actually be nice underneath? Like being mean or cutting other people down is just a habit or something? I'm thinking about that girl Nicole I told you about, remember? She was pretty much being her usual mean snobby self today in P.E. and I just turned the other cheek, as they say. And you know what, Meg? Unbelievable, but it worked! Well, sort of, anyway. I just basically pretended like I didn't catch her drift, and then I paid her a compliment and it was like she changed in an instant. Good move, huh? I can just hear you wondering if I really meant it. Well....what do YOU think? Not that I'd want her to be my best friend or anything (never, I swear!!!) but I do NOT need any enemies-especially her!

Scene 4-2f
Having gym with that stuck-up Nicole can get pretty bad, Meg, I'm not kidding. Or funny. I mean REALLY funny! Especially on the soccer field. Okay, she may be right at home in the mall. But out there? Well, she might as well be on another planet! One known as Planet of the Two Left Feet or something, I am NOT kidding! She's like this major klutzoid, but the worst part is, I still find myself watching her. She's just the type of person that gets noticed no matter what they do. (And I'm sure that's exactly how she likes it!) Maybe that's why sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be friends with her. I mean really good friends. You might always feel like you had to compete or something. I'm not sure I'd want to-compete OR be friends. That could be dangerous! But there is something about her. ..

Scene 4-2neu
The Pine is alive and well! Meggie, you would laugh to see this thing, I swear! I mean the school mascot. It's someone dressed up like a big tree and he goes around the school just doing totally weird stuff. Like delivering notes to class. Escorting kids to the Principal's office. Dumping lunch trays when people forget to. Plus, he goes to most sports things and runs around on the sidelines jumping around and trying to get everyone excited. Today he was on the soccer field when I had P.E. just completely acting crazy. No one knows who it is. It's like they reveal themself at the end of the school year. I want to get Mavis the psychic girl to tell me who it is. I'd totally love that, if she got it right! Even though she knows nothing about my what she calls Situation. Listen, MM, Ruben is NOT a situation so what can I do to make her stop? But hey, I wonder if he's the Pine!!

But no more about that. I just need to focus on figuring out this party thing and not let my mind spin out of orbit!

Scene 4-2hos
Late afternoon report:

Cleve Goodstaff:  SO conceited. He thinks every girl is in love with him! (He is definitely cute though, MM. Wait till you see some of the pictures I took of him when I did that photo shoot thing with all the popular kids. And NEVER TELL I said this!) Nicole:  She just wants to be the center of attention totally all the time. It's obnoxious! Whistling Pines in general: (I wonder if you can feel my heat from there 'cause right now I am at the boiling point!) This school sometimes feels extremely small. I mean like teeny tiny. No matter what you do or where you are or who you're with, there's always somebody else looking on, making up stories in their head about it and maybe even spreading totally untrue rumors!

Which brings up my next subject: Mavis. She does not quit with this me and Ruben thing. Totally embarrassing me about it in front of everyone. Worse: In front of Cleve this afternoon, right on the soccer field. Okay, she's not intentionally trying to make my life difficult, I'm sure. But I just wish sometimes I could stuff my gym sock in her mouth, I mean it! Or some day I am going to open her locker and put something in there to really startle her. (Yes, shhh, I know what her combination is!)

Scene 4-3rel
Hey M.M. I got SO totally self conscious today in P.E. that it was stupid! I was all worried about these guys, Cleve and Max, watching me having to go play soccer. But I go in there and the Snoot Queen Nicole just kept trying to push me and shove me all over the place, so much that I totally forgot about THEM and just went after her (not vicious though, just intense). Then a total miracle happened! Everybody's eyes were glued on Nicole, but it wasn't because she's so drop-dead beautiful (her opinion, I'm sure). There was this big excited thing with trying to get the ball and all of a sudden, Nicole klutzes out and fell or something, and her shorts totally split in back!!! So everybody got to see her underwear, which was RED! Can you even believe it?! But here's even better news-BIG news! Max just invited me to his party too! I am jazzed!

Scene 4-3ent
Meggie, did you ever want to see the world's most popular girl get totally embarrassed? Well, that's what I got in P.E. today and it was SO great!! See, Nicole and I got into a little bit of a tangle in soccer and then, right in front of everybody, including two totally popular guys (Max and Cleve), she split her gym shorts practically in half-totally embarrassing herself! NOT my fault. Really! (Why do I feel like you don't believe me). Then, Max and Cleve totally lost it and made this big hoot over it, which of course made her feel even worse, but I secretly felt exactly like them. I would like to tell the world, even though she thinks it was my fault. Maybe Max did too, because you know what? Right when I was leaving the soccer field he actually invited me to his party. Is that cool or what?! Yes, I know, what about Nakili's, right? That's one I definitely have to figure out! More later!

Scene 4-3def
much later, same day

Well, I don't have time to be writing this, but the two best things happened this afternoon, Meggie. You won't believe it! No, I didn't join The Ones! No, first Nicole split her gym shorts practically in half-in front of everybody-totally embarrassing herself. (And NO I didn't have anything to do with it!) And second, I got invited to Max's party. It's so great-especially since now least I don't have to keep wondering IF I'm going to get invited. But now that I AM on the invite list, what a mess! I don't know what to do! Not to even mention the costume problem! More later--from DETENTION!!! I got one, I swear!

Scene 5a-1di
COOL! I think I should be nominated for like a Nobel Peace Prize or something, Meggie! I was in the locker room after P.E. and mean queen Sharla Rae Norvell (as she always writes it anyway) was majorly getting on Jessie's case. I could tell Jessie was a little scared (who wouldn't be? You should just see this girl in action!), and at first I was tempted to lay low so she wouldn't get into it with me too (which she has done before). But then I jumped in anyway, and guess what? I got them to see each other's side! Even I was surprised. I really liked that I could make a bad situation better just by staying kind of calm or whatever. Guess I saved the day, huh? Or at least I maybe I saved Jessie from Sharla's Be-Mean fest.

But about other MOST IMPORTANT things: The party. I mean parties. I showed Jessie some of my costume ideas (and even gave her one maybe!). Gotta get going and get that whole thing worked out so that whatever party I go to (both maybe?) I'll look really cool. It's almost here!

Scene 5a-1af
My final Oct. 27 thing to say--

Meg, I am so mixed up! So many things are making me feel all confused about everything. One thing is, I still have to figure out what to do about going to Nakili's party or Max's. And then, today in the girls gym locker room the sweetest girl in the school (Jessie) started getting screamed at by the probably meanest girl in the school (Sharla) and it was really terrible. But instead of helping Jessie, I got scared and pretended like I didn't even hear. I mean I just totally slunk away from there and then felt completely guilty! I tried really hard to think of you and hear what you'd say to me about what to do. But I couldn't even imagine your face I was so scared and kind of guilty feeling. It was awful! I hope it NEVER happens again. But I'm pretty sure if something like that ever does happened again, I'd try to do something better that time. Enough about THAT!! Gotta get going and worry about what to wear (not to mention where to go) Saturday night!

But have you ever heard of something called a spork? hahaha, find out what it is!

Scene 5a-1un
I cannot STAND a bully! I think that's one thing we totally know about each other, right, MM? I mean, remember when we ganged up on that dumb Steven Groatman who tried to scare us in fifth grade? I think he was a little surprised at how good you were at throwing rocks! And I wasn't bad at trying to smack him with a broom either. Good thing I've mellowed out, huh?!! But there's this tough girl Sharla here (I know I've told you about her) and today she was really riding the nicest girl in the entire school (yes, Jessie) and it just got me so mad I ended up jumping in to take Jessie's side. I guess I really blew it, Meggie, because now I'm pretty sure Sharla's gonna be on my case in a fierce way. Which DOES make me kind of nervous. Well, a lot nervous. I probably should've kept my big mouth shut. But you know how that can be hard for me when I'm really, really in a mood!

But heads up (as we used to say in kickball)! Forget all that because it's almost party time! Which one will I be at Saturday night??!

Scene 5b-1sa
October 27 turns out not to be so great of an experience

Hi MM--I wish you were here to talk to!

When you do something bad and you have to pay the consequences, you can't help thinking about your life, ya know? Like right now, I'm in detention for instance. Because of being so rude to my gym teacher and refusing to go into our soccer game in P.E. I don't know why I did that exactly, except that I didn't want to play in front of the popular guys, who were watching. Now I'm in here and it's awful! Even Ruben, who I think is in here for something to do with frogs or something, (his favorite thing it seems like) can't cheer me up. (Even though he did try.) He thinks I'm overly exaggerating of everything, so he probably hates me now. Everything's a disaster!

Scene 5b-1ma
You will not believe where I am right now! I'm actually in the real live detention room! I don't really think of myself as the detention type, do you, Meggie? It's totally stupid! (Except Ruben's in here for some reason, which could be good if I wasn't so griped about being here in the first place!) I mouthed off at my gym teacher, and this is my punishment. Only it gets worse because not only am I stuck in here, but like Mr. Baldus, my homeroom teacher? Well, he's doing all his stupid tricks like I told you about, singing, making me the center of attention and totally embarrassing me in front of Ruben. Right now, I can't wait till this day is over. I'd rather be just about anywhere but here!

Scene 5b-1gl
Hey, MM. Well, guess where I am? Yep that place a person does NOT want to end up at the end of the day: DETENTION! That's where I'm writing this from. Kind of unbelievable, huh? (But funny in a way. Ruben's right next to me!) Now that I got invited to Max's (which I'm sure will be really cool since all the popular kids in the school will be there of course) I've gotta figure out what to do about Nakili's. I can't just NOT go, especially after I said I would. But now, with Ruben's sitting here next to me talking all about Debaser (his band) that's gonna be playing there, of course it totally makes me want to go. What a mess!

p.s. Does Matt like anybody this year? I'm sure he's going to Brian's party, right? I mean Brian IS gonna have one, isn't he? Or will Matt do it this year? What are you going as?

Scene 5b-2gl
So guess where I am, Meggie? Would you believe detention? I acted "belligerent" (according to my gym teacher anyway) this afternoon and just refused to go into the soccer game. (My parents were NOT pleased! as I'm sure you already guessed.) So the teacher in charge of detention, my totally UN-groovy-dude homeroom teacher, Mr. Baldus, decides to be cute and throws me together with this guy Wolf. Then it turns out he happens to be really good friends with those girls who wanted me to help them with their Halloween costumes. (Arrow and Viva, remember?)

So I just felt like telling you about him for some reason. Wolf is REALLY different. (For one thing, he likes to cook!) But I think I should get to know him and those girls better. I can't exactly explain why. It just seems like I'd like them. And they seem interesting or something. Wolf is definitely different. But in a really good way, I mean. I feel like I'm finally beginning to kind of GET this place, you know? Like who's in with who and how all the little groups fit together. The only thing is, I'm still not sure where I fit in. But hey, I can't get TOO hung up about that now can I? Not when I've got two big parties this weekend and can't figure out what to do? I need help!

Scene 5b-2sa
Talk about frustration! Those girls Viva and Arrow are probably in the art room right now waiting for me to drop by with fantastic ideas for their Halloween costumes (they had REALLY high hopes of help!) and here I am, stuck in detention with a guy named Wolf! Even if I felt like I didn't want to do that with them, it's a much better choice than this! But you know what, Meg? Who cares, right? Maybe it's for the best because I've only got a couple of ideas right now anyway (sketching furiously trying to get something good!) and probably not anything Viva and Arrow would've liked anyway. They just seem so--I don't know, like different or something, but in a cool way. (Like this Wolf person, who happens to be their friend.) Wolf's like a good inspiration though. I mean he basically told me (but in a nice way) to get over myself and put my attention on good stuff. And he's so right! So I'm going back to my costume sketches now, Meggy girl. Time to design something RC (really cool) for the party. Or should I say parties? Which one should it be? Maybe both?!

Scene 5b-2ma
So I'm in detention, MM! Mom and Dad are NOT happy, whoa, big surprise. (I had to call and tell them I'd be late and Dad said I have to go apologize to Mrs. Lutzi tomorrow. YUK! It's SO embarrassing to even think of it!) Of course, I don't expect detention to be a totally pleasant experience. I mean, I know they're not going to be like passing out sodas and popcorn and letting us sprawl out in bean bags and watch videos or anything (too bad!) but still! The teacher (Mr. Baldus, the Hairpiece Homeroom teacher) made me help out this Wolf guy (that's really his name, Howl!!) with his homework until we got so mad at each other we can't even talk now so I'm writing this instead. Much better deal. I am SO not into this whole scene!

The one scene I AM into though, is this weekend: party scene. But Meggie, which one? You think I can do both? I gotta decide 'cause it's coming up fast! We need to talk!

Scene 6a-1ne
Halloween night, LATE!

Well, MM, when it came right down to it, I decided to go to Nakili's party. Not that I didn't want to also go to Max's, of course. It's just that I didn't really have anyone to go there with and I didn't want to just show up at his house by myself. I would've felt so completely self-conscious it would NOT have even been funny! I almost asked Whitney if I could go with them but on Friday they were all so close and in a big secretive mood all day that I didn't even hardly talk to Whitney at all. And of course everyone was buzzing about whatever Nicole was going to dress up as and the whole thing just kind of made me feel awful. That's when I decided I'd go to Nakili's, where I would definitely be welcome (except by Dana, of course, who is never glad to see me anywhere) and not to mention, I'd already promised a thousand times since they knew all about how I kind of had an interest in the other party. What a mess!

Scene 6a-1ig
Halloween night, LATE!

So, Meggie, guess which party I decided to go to? If you guessed Nakili's, you'd be right. And I was pretty psyched about it by the time today came, even though the Debaser thing was still kind of bothering me. And actually things were cool there, at first anyway. Except I caught Dana talking about me to this other girl before I barely had my coat off. But anyway, I totally just ignored her. Like she didn't exist. And so I was having a pretty good time.

Interruption for Special Costume Report:  Mom's help on the Cleopatra thing was worth it! You should see how cool it is! (pictures soon!) Plus, Nakili wore a really totally beautiful kind of African robe or something. She looked so unbelievable, like a graceful princess with a hat like a crown. Last week she told me she was thinking about goofing on everyone and going as a MILK CARTON, hahaha. So that's kind of what I was expecting. What a surprise!

Scene 6a-1po
Halloween night, LATE!

Don't you just hate it when you hear people talking about you behind your back?! Okay, I gotta backtrack here, Meggie Muffin. First of all, I DID end up going to Nakili's tonight, just so you know.

Now. Back to my subject. I'd just walked into Nakili's party, and almost the first thing I heard was Dana and Ginger (mostly Dana) saying all this stuff about me. They couldn't see me hanging up my coat so of course they didn't know I was listening. But you know what, MM? I had this miraculous idea not to let it ruin my whole night. So I just went right up to Dana and said I thought it was great that she could say what she thought about a person and not act two-faced or anything. Which is kind of true, you know? At least I know where I stand with her (even though it's usually not in the best place)!

Scene 6a-2sh
What a dork! That's what I figured this guy, Pete, was going to say after he met me at Nakili's party (yes, I DID decide I should probably go to that party, at least for a while!). When Nakili and Miko practically forced me to talk to him, I turned red and clammed up like a complete moron! Why was I so shy in front of him? Meg, I swear, it's not like he was a major hunkmeister or anything. Why can't I be one of those girls who always knows exactly the perfect thing to say at a party? Or to people they don't know? Someone who never feels awkward or embarrassed? That everyone wants to know?! LIKE YOU for instance, Meggie. I doubt I'll ever be one of those, I really do. But MAYBE I'll rock on just trying! I hope you are having the most fantastic halloween right THIS minute! Even though you're so far away I kind of feel like you're totally close tonight.

Scene 6a-2co
You are the best, Meggie! I'm sure I'll NEVER have another friend like you! It's like you're a part of me, you know? Do you ever feel that way? Like tonight at Nakili's party. (Yep, that's where I decided to go!) She and Miko drag me over to meet this high school guy and then they just leave me standing there and expect me to talk to him-alone! And he was NOT that great (but I still felt self-conscious, even though I pretended I didn't). Then Dana saw me with him, and she just instantly came over and acted like he was her longest best friend in the universe and just stood there talking to only him so I felt totally out of it. It was bad! I just practically RAN to the bathroom, and was definitely getting myself all worked up into a major madfest. But then I just kind of imagined you and what we'd be doing if we were at the same party (probably Brian's) and I felt like you were practically in the room! It totally made me feel better. But it also reminded me how much I miss you too. I hope your halloween's the best tonight! BFF! (Best friends forever! You know it!)

Scene 6a-2un
Have you ever been lonely at a party before, Meggie? That's how I was feeling earlier tonight at Nakili's. It seemed important for me to at least show my face around there, don't you think? I mean, I did promise and everything!

Anyway, first, costume report: Miko is so funny! She's got this idea book in her locker, where she had all these ideas for costumes she was thinking of. Then I get to the party and I see she decided to go as the Statue of Liberty! I liked it but, even though I didn't tell Miko, I think she should've gone as that Native American woman she had in her book. She was so cool!

Guy report: Nakili and Miko REALLY wanted me to meet this high school guy, and I didn't actually feel like it at all. So I ended up acting SO unfriendly to him. Then of course I felt really bad, like I was being snobby, and I can't stand it when someone acts snobby to ME. Am I a nut case? It kind of made me think about how totally myself I can be with you, and I miss that. I remembered all the nights we slept over at each other's house and just talked about every little thing practically all night long. Now, around here, I feel sort of lost at sea sometimes. Sigh!

Scene 6a-3ma
Right in the middle of Nakili's party I started wishing I could be anywhere else. But especially at Max's party!! Nothing was working out the way I'd thought it would. And after Miko passed me a note from Ruben saying he hoped he'd see me at Max's, I just wanted to scream for picking Nakili's instead!!! I started feeling like the party I was at was so lame, with Miko's sister playing fortune teller and all that. Then-this you WON'T believe-Mavis shows up, asking for ME! What a weird night, MM! p.s. costume notes: Even though Dana won't leave me alone with her snotty ways, I have to tell you that she dressed up like a leopard or something and actually looked really cute. Maybe one of these days I'll actually figure out a way to make her like me as much as her two best friends do!

Scene 6a-3gl
I'm pretty sure I told you about Jessie, right, Meg? Well, she sort of reminds me of you because she's like the sweetest person and I can pretty much be myself around her. (I'm not saying she could replace you or anything no way!). But like tonight she was totally upbeat while meanwhile I was freaking out about what a lame-o time I was having. Then she started telling me about this fortune teller who was at the party (but it was just Miko's teenage sister faking it! ha ha!) and it reminded me of that time we found that old fortune telling board in my basement, remember? What was it again-Eyeball of the Future?!! Then I remembered how we stayed up all night asking it crazy questions, like will we get cursed with zits on picture day and stuff. That was a such a blast! I wish you were here tonight, Meggie, not just in my imagination!

Costume report: Remember that pumpkin sketch I did for a maybe costume? Jessie decided to have fun and use it! She looked totally cute too.

Scene 6a-3sa
Meggie, you would not believe how bad I was feeling by the time Nakili's party was full on! All I could do was think about how much I wished I was at Max's. It was so bad. Like I couldn't stop feeling I'd be having a SO MUCH better time if I was there and hanging out with that whole popular crowd. And Debaser and everything, you know? I admitted my feelings to Jessie and she really tried to get me out of the dumpster about Nakili's. But I couldn't help wishing I could just beam myself over to Max's. And then something really weird happened, Meg. Mavis showed up at Nakili's-looking for me! Do you think I should've just instantly like crawled out the bathroom window or something?!

Scene 6a-4up
I wish you could've been with me at Nakili's party tonight, Meggie! It was totally the best! Missing Max's didn't bother me at all, once I got into being at the other party. My costume turned out great that I was kind of like the center of attention most of the night. It was unbelievable! Plus, Miko's sister Saki was doing fortune telling and of course I had to do it! It was really wild. She hinted that a special group might want me for a member! Do you think it's The Ones? Or the CSGs? I told you they've been so friendly to me lately and I think kind of hinting and stuff. Plus, Saki also said I have a secret admirer, like I just mean someone who admires me and would like to be good friends or something. Only she wouldn't say whether it was a guy or a girl. Who do you think it is? At first, I thought it might be Jessie because she's nice and really we're pretty good friends. But then maybe it's Mavis. Crack up! Or what if it might be Ruben? Mmmm. Of course, the whole thing's probably a great big joke, but it's fun just to let go and kind of get into it and let myself imagine all the possibilities! There's no harm in that, right MM?

Scene 6a-4do
After party BUMMER report!

Meggie, tonight was NOT my night! I mean, Nakili's started out okay then went totally into disaster. Remember that time when you liked Rob and you had that big piece of spinach stuck in your tooth when you talked to him for like ten whole minutes? I'm only reminding you so you could get an idea of how I felt by the end of Nakili's. First, I didn't meet any cool new people. Then of course Mavis came and tried to get me to go to Max's with HER! Which would've been a total scene stealing moment if I had! So of course I didn't. After that I thought maybe I could at least get my fortune told. But what a joke! You know what it was? I think it was saying something about I should be best friends with Mavis or something. Like I mean I think it meant that MAVIS was feeling bad because I wasn't being her closest friend. I DO NOT KNOW but I'm turning out to be a total social failure, Meggie. I can't even tell you the rest because it's so bad I just want to forget it ever happened! Happy Halloween, Meggie girl. I'm sure yours is much happier than mine!

Scene 6a-4co
Disaster!!! Being torn between two really good parties is SO terrible, Meg, that I hope you never have to go through what I just did tonight! Well, I kept my promise and went to Nakili's party. But all I could think about the whole time was what it was like at Max's. I was SO curious. Especially when I found out that Ruben sent me a note saying he hoped I'd be there or something like that. I wanted to CROAK! But you'll never believe what happened. Mavis showed up at Nakili's looking for me (She got her brother to drive all the way to the party to get me and take me to Max's). At first I thought I'd die of embarrassment (I know, I sound like Nicole, so don't even say it!) But then I kind of got determined. It's like, if you really want something, you gotta go for it, right? So that's what I did. I just headed off into the night with Mavis. (Can you believe it?!)

But I think I made a really dumb mistake and after tonight I'll probably never even get one of the popular kids to talk to me-I mean, NEVER again. Poor Mavis, too. I just practically forced her back into her brother's car and made her leave. And it turned out it was her birthday and everything. I was TERRIBLE to her! Which could be really bad. Because what if she really is some disguised magical being or something like that? Like a guardian angel or whatever, sent here to help me make it through the eighth grade without a scratch?! Oh, what am I saying?! I just feel really bad is all, because no matter even if she's just some totally weird girl, I kind of used her. And I hate that I did. Because even though I got to go to Max's it wasn't that good and I should've probably stayed at Nakili's. End of story.

Scene 6b-1sa
Truth, Meggie? Okay, first I have to admit as last week went by I just started wanting to go to Max's more and more. Even though I didn't say a thing to anyone, I just couldn't stop thinking about it and how I could maybe get to go to both. But by this morning when I woke up, I knew I had to be seen at Max's, no matter what. And of course when Whitney called me to see if I was going and if I wanted a ride, how could I say NO?! She would have thought I was just so stupid if I said I didn't want to go, you know?

But anyway, I know it was just a dumb costume party, but still, I really did try to come up with a killer outfit because, I admit, I wanted to stand out tonight, no matter whose party I ended up at. (Especially since everybody seems to think I'm so creative or something. But when Nicole made her grand entrance tonight (I'm sure she timed it to make sure all eyes would be on her), I suddenly felt completely overshadowed. I don't think I would've minded it half so much if she was a nice person who deserved all the attention she gets. But she expects it. No, it's like she demands it! I'm just not up for being a little Nicole groupie, you know? If that's what it takes to be popular around here, it seems pretty hopeless that I'll ever be a ONE, that's for sure!

Scene 6b-1ma
The Ones rule. Why did I ever think I'd get that great a time at Max's?! Because yes, that's where I went (and I'm sure the CSGs are gonna kill me now!) You know I was so psyched about Max's party, Meggie, but then I got there and it was worse than I thought it would be, especially at first! I guess I thought that because I'd been invited I'd somehow feel like an insider. But I should've known that Nicole and them would find a way to make me feel like a major outsider! I actually got Whitney and Stephanie to let me go there with them, but as soon as we got there they both just totally ignored me. I felt like a complete geek and couldn't stop wishing I could disappear and be back there with you, going to Brian's dumb party or something. Okay! NOT dumb. Just sort of familiar. I would've like to feel relaxed and totally at home with everyone. But I definitely did not!

Scene 6b-1gl
Well, Meggie, it's certain. All the rumors about Max's incredible parties were true! (Yes, I decided to go, even though I don't know how I'm be able to look at Miko or Nakili now-if they'll even talk to me, that is.) But right away when I walked into Max's I was pretty sure it was going to be as good a party as I imagined. And at least I started out the night making a major impression in my really cool Cleopatra costume. (I don't wanna brag, but wait till you see the pictures!) And of course, Ruben's band sounded great! I talked to a lot of guys I never met, even ones from the high school who were friends of Max's older sisters and I decided I wasn't even going to let the Ones bother me at all. Motto: NOBODY's going to ruin my night!

Scene 6b-2pa
So right now I'm just trying to imagine what you're doing, Meggie, and where you are. Here's what I saw in my imagination: You dressed up as a flapper from the 1920s, with like a TON of eye makeup on and one of those dresses that's all fringe so that it all moves every time you take a step. Brian's got the music cranked so loud that you can't even hear who you're talking to and that's okay with Matt, because he's so flustered from looking at how cute you look, he can't even talk to you. AM I CLOSE?! I don't know. When you told me about that costume it just seemed so right! I mean, with your short hair and everything. I'm sure Paula Anne couldn't stand how good I'm sure you looked. She's so into outdoing everyone, I mean. But wait! Is she still like that? I don't even know (but I bet she is anyway, right?)

All of what I just wrote is to basically say that for me this was NOT a night that I'll probably remember for the rest of my life. Sometimes a person's expectations are so much better than how it turns out, you know, MM? But whatever. If I get in with the popular kids it'll be a miracle. But more about the party and everything else in a little while!

Scene 6b-2in
Mission: to get to talk to Ruben tonight. But Meg, believe it or not, it was NOT that easy. From the minute I walked into Max's party, I was trying, but it was practically impossible! He was either onstage playing or surrounded by a ton of people for practically the whole first half of the party. And when he wasn't busy and was looking my way, it seemed like I was stuck talking to someone else! It seemed like it took forever to just connect. Of course, if you'd have been here, I know you'd have figured out a way to pull him aside somehow. But just remember one thing: NO! I don't LIKE him, except as a friend. And I'm just trying to act normal and not get all goofed up in my head just because he seems like he likes talking to me!

Scene 6b-2as
From the moment I heard Debaser, I felt so totally psyched, Meg! They are the best band, and I just wish you could hear them. (Hey, maybe you can. I'll see if they have a tape or something I could send you!) Anyway, do NOT tell ANYONE, but Ruben looked so totally cute up there singing and playing his guitar that I couldn't believe it. It was worth coming here, just to see that. I mean, he just seems totally natural no matter what he does. I don't know how he gets so cool about everything, but yeah, I was impressed! (And his costume was so-o-o adorable. I got pictures-just wait!) The coolest thing about Ruben is, he doesn't seem all that hung up on himself the way some guys (especially musician-type guys!) can be. I hope all this attention NEVER goes to his head!

Scene 6b-3sa
Meggie Muffin, I think I know what it means now when a person says they're singing the blues, and NOT because I was up onstage with Debaser tonight! Nope, but it does kind of have to do with that. It's just this party thing. Max's, you know. As I was saying, it was NOT the way I'd pictured it would be. And I think I figured out tonight that maybe nothing is. You know how you look at someone, and you think you know the deal about their life? Like Ruben, for instance. I figured he always gets his way and has that kind of smart aleck fun thing in his personality because of maybe being spoiled or something. But that is so totally NOT how it is. I found out he has definitely not just breezed through his life! Tonight he somehow decided to tell me some private stuff about his life and it turns out that his dad was HARSH! As in I think he hit them and stuff. I felt SO bad for Ruben when he was telling me, but he is just so cool about it, it's amazing. (You HAVE TO meet him sometime, Meg.) And now he's got a stepdad, I guess, and things are totally better.

But it just kind of made me feel so glad about my own family and how lucky I am, ya know? And then of course it just made me think about all the private stuff in people's lives. I mean, do you think Nicole's got some crummy secret in her past that makes her act so outrageously mean? I wonder! Anyway, the other thing I feel really glad about is YOU, MM. Even though you're so far away now, right this minute I feel like we're really close. And I am so glad we can stay friends no matter how far apart we are or how much time goes by. I know it sounds kind of dumb, but thanks for being my best (even though far away) friend. I really mean it forever! Night, MM! AND happy Halloween!

Scene 6b-3ma
You know what, Meg? I am really getting sick of how everybody goes absolutely ga-ga over Nicole! What is the big deal with her?! Can't they see through her girly games to the truth? I mean, she's totally conceited! And besides that, she's definitely not (as Dad would say) the sharpest knife in the drawer, ya know? Okay, I'm sorry! It's just that I think I'm majorly peeved because of something to do with Ruben about her. Never mind what, it's such a waste of energy to even mention it.

Wow, though, what a night. Right now I'm wondering exactly where you are and what you're doing. I wish in a way I could be there too. I wish it a lot, in fact. But here I am. It's just that it takes some getting used to is all. Miss you, Meggie. More later. But till then, Happy Halloween!

Scene 6b-3gl
Hey, Meggie. You know how I was dying to get invited to Max's party? I just thought it was going to be the coolest thing going on Halloween night, I swear. I mean I felt like I HAD to get there, just so I could say I was part of the coolest situation and all that. But it turns out it was pretty much not that great. I mean, it was like a million other parties. I'm not saying it wasn't fun or anything, and I definitely liked seeing everybody in their costume and getting to hear Debaser, finally! But it didn't exactly blow my mind or whatever. Which is kind of a relief! I mean, I'm glad I came or else I'd always be wondering what I'd missed (humiliation, shyness, embarrassment, all the usual, ya know? So now I know. Still, though, who doesn't want to be part of the coolest kids in the school-even if their parties are as dumb as everybody else's? Just because of who they are, you think it's going to be better where they are. But right this minute, you know what I think? It's not.

Meggie, I really really miss you tonight and I hope you had the best time ever (even though without me)! G'night, best faraway friend! And Happy Halloween!

Opening
September 22   First day of 8th grade--in my new school:  Whistling Pines Jr. High (Cross my fingers and hope to survive!)

It's kind of intense being in a whole new place, not knowing anyone or anything. A person in my situation could mess up without even meaning to. I need to keep track of everything that happens to me at this school, just so I can look back when I'm a grown-up or whatever and see how I did. In fact, I just thought of something really cool. I think what I can do is make this notebook like a long letter to Meg, my very best faraway friend in the world.

I'll write about what happens with me and everyone I meet. Then at the end of the school year I'll give her the whole thing to read (hopefully in person). That way, it'll be like she can see what my whole year was like, with all the details of what I was thinking and doing. (Even though of course I'll still tell her stuff when we talk and everything.  And write letters and email--total connection!)  But this will be like the written record of my 8th grade life. And this is the official beginning of doing it: Hi Meggie Muffin, best faraway friend! Get ready to read all about my whole new life  (well, one year of it anyway)...coming up!

September 22, End of my first day:  Wow, what a day, as a matter of fact!

Trying to survive definitely had its hairy moments!! Like, before I was even ready for it, I ended up the center of attention -- in homeroom. It was totally embarrassing in a way. It was like all of a sudden the principal (Mrs. Herrera) walked into the room and goes, "Well, students, we have a new face here" or something. And then the next thing I know she's calling my name and I have to stand up and TALK in front of everyone. Meg, I tried to play it cool (of course!) but can you imagine what that felt like for me?!! At that moment I was wishing I was back home SO bad (my OLD home, I mean, on Monroe Street and around the corner from you)!

Then just trying to figure out where to sit in like this HUGE cafeteria full of strangers was also NOT fun. Almost as bad as finding out you're dressed exactly the same as some girl who's got totally the worst temper. This really happened and, unfortunately, this person did NOT like me even from the very first second she even looked at me. What a mess!

Then I had a good moment (at least it seemed like it at first) when my art teacher (Mr. Rarebit) asked me to be on the yearbook committee. (YAY!)  But unfortunately it made a lot of kids mad because I guess they didn't think it was fair that the new girl got on and THEY didn't. So as it turned out, it was one of those cool things that has a hidden side that's not so great!

So Meggie, maybe you can figure out that my day was not exactly a totally calm, peaceful, easy one. But I definitely learned a lot! And I found out about a lot of kids and stuff. Like for instance, there's this really popular group of girls who call themselves the Ones (really!). Their names are Nicole, Stephanie, and Whitney. Don't expect them to be nice to you if you're new. Except for maybe one of them (Whitney) sometimes might be! They usually hang around with these guys named Chaz, Cleve, and Max, who are obviously the most popular boys in school. But I'm not sure what I really think of any of them yet, so I'll tell ya later!

Also there's another group of friends named Dana, Miko, and Nakili, and I'm not sure about them at all yet either. The first one is the totally-always-angry-at-me one, but the other two seem really nice. Especially when that Dana person isn't around. They have a secret name for themselves, which is the CSGs. Don't ask me what it stands for--they won't tell!

So anyway, it seems like there's a bunch of kids here who might be nice and good to be friends with. But it DID make me miss you today, Meg, I really mean it. Even though there were two kids who were both pretty nice to me the whole time. The first one is named Jessie, and she was totally helpful, especially since she was the first person I talked to when I got to school. The other one's named Ruben. I don't want to say anything except he seems SO sweet (and cute!). He's in my homeroom. Plus, he also talked to me at lunch, so I didn't feel like a complete zombie anyway. I just think he's so nice. So that's the quick report!

Except for one thing. Right at the very end of the day, I went into the girls' bathroom before going home and guess what I found? Somebody's private notebook! With all these private things written down in it. Then before I could put it back, some girls came in and I had to stuff it in my backpack. Now I've got it--and don't know how to give it back. As I said before, WHAT A MESS!!!

Sunday, November 1st

Meggie Muffin, it's already November, I can't believe it! And I've made it past halloween and party problems and the whole thing. Last week was really intense. My now pretty good friends Miko and Nakili (Dana STILL doesn't like me, what a creep!) invited me to a Halloween party they were having so of course I said I'd come. It sounded like fun. But then the minute I said yes, I find out that Max (one of the popular kids, remember?) is also having a big party on the same night. And it sounded really cool. For one reason, because I found out Ruben and his band were going to be there playing the music and everything.

I couldn't believe it! Especially because I wasn't invited to that party. So all day I was just trying not to think too much about it. Even though this girl Mavis, who's a little strange and--according to her--psychic, kept bringing it up everywhere I went. I mean about me and Ruben. Which I just tried to get her to STOP talking about because there's nothing TO talk about. About him and me, I mean. I swear! But she wouldn't. So I couldn't help thinking about how he was going to be at this one party and I was only invited to the other one.

Then this AWFUL thing happened in P.E. class to the most popular girl (Nicole). And totally while everyone was watching, even boys! I probably would've wanted to shrivel up and disappear if it'd happened to me. So luckily it didn't. The one good thing that happened in that class was that that guy Max FINALLY invited me to his party! I was psyched!! But of course that meant I had to figure out which party to go to since they were at the same time and on the same night. All I can say is, it was definitely a tricky decision! But you know all about that and what happened and everything, right, Meggie? So enough about that!

Okay, then, time to read on and find out more!!!

Scene 1-1e
Thursday, December 17

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEGGIE MUFFIN!!

I just happen to have that card you sent me (you know, the joint birthdays one) in my locker and have been having all these thoughts about you today. I feel you so close to me that I could almost imagine us having a conversation--kinda like Mavis the psychic, maybe! <  <     I'm thinking about what you're probably doing today and what you'll do tonight to celebrate. AND, of course, wishing I was there!

But here I am at Whistling Pines instead. I can't believe it's not only my Joint Best-Friends Birthday day, but also the last day of my first semester here. I'm definitely ready for vacation! Wouldn't it be great if you and I were spending it together? You know I've been bugging Mom and Dad about it BAD! So now they're saying maybe this summer I could visit you. Wouldn't that be great?! I still miss you sooo much and you are still TOTALLY my best friend!

Anyway, things haven't exactly gone the way I thought they would so far. But of course I didn't have a clue HOW it would be here. And when I think back to that very first day, I think I've done pretty good. I mean, considering being the STICK-OUT new kid and everything!

In a way, I guess you could say I haven't quite fit in like I hoped I would by now. But something's going on. Something is up, and I mean RIGHT NOW, Meg! I'm not sure enough about it yet to write anything down about it here, but it could be a really cool thing! So wish me luck, Meggie, 'cause maybe this is the day that's gonna make my life easier around here! Okay, here I go!

Scene 1-1a
Thursday, December 17

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEGGIE MUFFIN!!

I think maybe I've carried our birthday tradition a little too far at school here, Meggie. I mean, it's the last day of school before we get out for winter vacation and I've been missing you so much. Especially when I got your birthday card, I was just feeling kind of like it was my birthday too. And thinking about how we always celebrated and everything. So I'm pretty sure this one group of kids (more about them later) started thinking my birthday was in December. And unfortunately, I didn't exactly tell them that it was just my SHARED Joint Best-Friends Birthday day and not actually my REAL birthday. So now it's WEIRD! I'd feel totally stupid and embarrassed saying I just made it up, especially because the same certain girls I just mentioned might be making a big deal of it--like I mean in a couple of minutes from RIGHT NOW! I don't know what to do and everything's just great. (I'm NOT SERIOUS!)

Scene 1-1w
Thursday, December 17

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEGGIE MUFFIN!!

Boy, Meggie Muffin, things are kind of crazy today! Somehow, a bunch of people have found out it's my Joint Best-Friends Birthday day. The only problem is, they think it really IS my birthday. And it's like all over the school or something. Even my goofy homeroom teacher (you remember about Mr. Baldus, right?) thinks it! I might not mind, and I might even tell them my birthday's really in July, but I can't. I mean, because of something ELSE going on, I think it's gotten a little complicated. (Something I have to tell you about on the phone, NOT here!)  I'm feeling a little nervous about what to do. WHAT WOULD YOU DO, I wonder???

Okay, here's kind of what happened. Guess what I found in my locker at noon? An invitation to this special private meeting of a certain group. It's happening right after this. I think they're gonna ask me to like, maybe be part of their group or whatever. I mean, it's just a thing I suspect, not sure. Which could be GREAT! But it could also be a problem--which could have to do with my birthday or something.

I guess I'm gonna find out anyway! Oh, Meggie, sometimes I just feel like I'm still the new kid -- even though I've been here for months now!! Even though part of me likes being independent and friends (sort of, anyway) with everyone, another part of me would just like to have a definite set of friends. I mean ones that were always there for me, kind of like you and me and everyone at home. Like I heard Stephanie and Whitney in the bathroom earlier talking about some dinner at Max's house this weekend. It makes me miss you even more, 'cause you and I would have been doing something together. That doesn't mean I'd miss you less if I was going to their party, or that anyone could ever replace you -- 'cause of course no one could! I know you understand.

Scene 1-2m
Every minute this birthday thing just seems to keep getting worse. What have I done? And how did so many people find out about it. It's like everyone's coming up to me and saying happy birthday and stuff and even giving me PRESENTS!! Well, I mean, that weird guy I told you about--Arnold Zeitbaum? YES, the one who is studying aliens landing!! <  <   Well, he says he's got some present for me. I mean he practically shouted it all over the hall and totally made me feel like I should get into my locker and just close the door on myself!

Plus, what does it mean when a person (Mavis, unfortunately) says my secrets are going to come back and haunt me??? Does it mean what I think it means? And why did it have to be MAVIS who said it? Because it just reminds me too much of that day when she was running all over school telling Nicole she was going to have a BAD experience that day---and she was totally right! Meg, I do NOT want Mavis to be right this time. But I am so afraid she is.

Scene 1-2g
Oh my gosh, Meg, if I could wish for just one thing, it would probably be for you to be able to be here and see these guys Arnold and Mavis in action. It's like a kind of weird play or something, I mean it! All they do is insult each other -- which I'm sure means they're totally IN LOVE. It is SO funny.

And NOW, I've got this other little adventure to go on. More details later!

Scene 1-2s
I do NOT know where Mavis Wartella-Depew gets her information, but she is SPOOKY! Okay, Meggie, I mean, she's not really THAT spooky but it's just weird sometimes how she really does seem to know stuff. And I don't especially like being told about things in my future. Or finding out that someone (HER!) knows all about that thing from the first day of school. You know, about the book I found? HOW DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT IT? And what will I do if she tells on me?? It's awful to even think about it!

Scene 2-1m
Okay, Meggie, about my secret rendezvous. (That's a French word taught to me by my dad, which means "meeting."  Like a secret meeting.  Pronounced: RON-day-voo)  <  It was in the art room and it was an invitation from---you knew it, right?---the CSGs. I came in there just kind of steaming from my clash with Mavis. When she gets on one of her crazy thought trains or whatever, it could drive a person nuts, I'm not kidding you!

Anyway, I go in there and they're really excited to see me (except of course Dana, who was trying to be nice but not doing such a good job of it). But then it happened! My fake birthday coming back to haunt me AGAIN! They even had this little present sitting there on the table, which I was pretty sure was probably for me. It's terrible, Meggie! They really think I'm a Sagittarius like it turns out they all are. I couldn't help thinking YOU should be here and becoming part of their group, NOT ME! But what would you do if you were me and you got THE INVITATION??? You know the invitation I mean, I know you do!

This day is definitely going to be interesting.

Scene 2-1g
Hey Best Friend! So the crazy story continues. Can you see me as a CSG? What do you think? You know what CSG stands for?????? Well, it has something to do with being a SAGITTARIUS. I was afraid of this! And I was trying so hard to think about how exactly they started thinking I was that sign. What was it??

Okay, all I can remember is a few things, but I'm pretty sure that's what did it. First, remember I told you about the first day of school when I was in art class? Well, right before Mr. Rarebit came and looked at my work, I was just doing all this doodling (first day jitters probably). I wanted to maybe make you a card or something, so I drew some Sagittarius symbols, like this centaur guy and some arrows and all that. Just sort of practicing. But I remember that Miko and Nakili, who were sitting right next to me, got really excited when they saw what I was drawing and asked me if I was a Sagittarius. Well, before I could figure out what to say or explain or anything, Dana burst in and the whole conversation just suddenly changed. I think maybe they really just thought I was one, without me even saying for sure. So here I am--trying to figure out what to do next! I just know if you were here with me this minute, everything would be great and okay and you'd know exactly how to figure the whole thing out. But you're not here. DARNNNNNN!!

Scene 2-1w
Okay Meg, what does a person do when they kind of let people believe something about them that isn't true and then all of sudden it makes everything really complicated? I mean when things get so complicated that you can't go backward and set everything straight--even though you wish you could? It's terrible! Of course I am really interested in being close friends with Miko and Nakili. (Dana I'm not so sure about--big surprise!)  But it seems like I've gotten myself into a situation that I can't exactly fix too easily, and all I want to do is go backwards and start over. Like in a board game, when you have to start over. In that case, it's not such a good thing, but in THIS case, it would be SO much better to be able to start over.

I was thinking about the time Miko and Nakili came over to my house. They almost invited themselves, but it was okay with me 'cause I really wanted to be friends with them. I guess Dana was doing something else that day, which was even better. And we really had fun, laughing and just talking and goofing around in my room. They saw everything in my whole room, all your cards and all my pictures and stuff. So they started asking was this my best friend back home and what you were like and everything.

Then they saw that picture of us from last year. You know, the funny one on your birthday when we had that gigantic cake and we wore those dumb Sagittarius symbols we made out of wrapping paper? That picture was really interesting to them and they were like, "Oh yeah, Sagittarius!  We REALLY think Sagittarius people are cool!" Then Nakili looks on the calendar and sees your birthday circled bright red and all this stuff is around my room so I can tell they're just trying to figure it all out. I mean, I could see they were pretty much already thinking I was a Sagittarius. So of course I just let them believe whatever they wanted. I know it was lame to not tell the whole thing about it, but I guess I just really wanted them to look at me in the best possible way and think of me as a good friend and all that.

THEN, later at school I think they even saw that birthday card you sent me (which is in my locker) so they just figured out the whole deal. Because they were just so secretive when I asked them how they found out! What I think is that they like to seem like they can find out secrets about someone if they want to. And I did kind of forget about how they were really asking me about it when they came over. Well, it's kind of complicated at this point, that's for sure. Makes me sort of worried about what's gonna happen next. HELPPP!!

Scene 2-2e
Okay best friend in the world,  it's true and official --- the CSGs did EXACTLY what I kind of suspected and asked me to be in their group! Well, not exactly. See, they didn't just accept me as a member of their private group like I thought they were going to. At first I was totally psyched that they asked me. You know it would be pretty  cool ... only problem is, you DEFINITELY have to be a SAGITTARIUS to get in. So of course, YOU would have gotten in in a second. So even though I was feeling kind of like a fake, I just wanted to do it, and was like, OKAY!! I kind of felt like if we hurried up and they accepted me, then if they found out anything about my sign, it wouldn't matter as much.

But they did one thing I didn't expect--which was to postpone making it totally for sure. AAAARRRGGGHHH! And the end of our meeting they took this little present that had been sitting on the table and just walked out with it, without even saying a word about it. Even though I at first thought it was for me, when things got postponed I wasn't sure anymore. Anyway, I never even got to see what was inside. But maybe I will at the end of the day!

We're supposed to meet later and finish the initiation or whatever it is. Help! I never thought our joint birthday thing would get me into so much trouble! I just keep wishing you were here 'cause I'm pretty sure you could tell me just what I needed to do.

Scene 2-2a
Loyalty. I think it's something I need to think about. Everyone should be a loyal friend, and I really try to be. Meg, I'd say you're about the MOST loyal, true friend a person could be lucky enough to have. Is it because I've known you since you could practically walk? >   Anyway, I got hit with this CSG loyalty oath thing and it kind of freaked me out. In a private way, I mean -- not that I said anything about it to them.

It just seemed so SERIOUS or something. I mean, you and I have been best friends forever, but we never had to come right out and make a spoken loyalty oath, because we just KNEW. Right? So this is weird. Also, because of you-know-what. Am I a phoney, Meg? I just have to figure out my thoughts and feelings. Is signing a loyalty oath like shutting a door on being friends with every different kind of person you want to be friends with? If so, I'm not sure it's a thing I want to do. Guess we'll see what happens at the end of the day.....

Scene 2-2w
Why does every school in the entire universe have to have cliques?? Meggie Muffin, that is just a thing I'd really like an answer to. And why is it NO fun unless you're in the "right" one. I guess back at home with you and Kate and Matthew and everyone, I didn't think about it very much. I mean we just had a really cool group that was always together. Was that a clique? Did we have big rules and meetings and ways to keep people out? I'm pretty sure we didn't but you better remind me, because I think since I came here the old part of my life is getting kind of fuzzy! Well, it's not really that bad, but still....

It's strange how where you are takes up all your attention so that sometimes your old life, even when it was really good and full of totally fun details, kind of goes into the background. No offense, Meg. I'm just having a hard time remembering if we had a clique or just a bunch of friends. And all of a sudden it seems like an important thing to be thinking about. I guess the REAL thing I'm wondering about is, how did everybody we weren't that close to think about us? Did they think we were friendly and open to everyone or did they hate us for being popular snobby kids? I mean, did we seem snobby? Were we as popular as we thought we were? I know maybe I sound kind of weird, but do you ever think about this, Meg? Because it's really in my mind now and it's giving me a headache practically. I REALLY want to talk to you about this!

Scene 2-3m
Bo Pezanski = Big Pest!

A guy who totally thinks he can boss people around whenever he wants. I can't believe he got a job being a hall monitor! WHO DID THAT??? It is such a totally dumb, stupid thing I can't even hardly believe it. MEG!! I got sent to the principal's office. And for being about a SECOND late, I swear. It could not have been more than 10 seconds! I can't believe this. And why does he even have to be CUTE?! He should look like a troll to match his personality!

Scene 2-3c
Sometimes I could just get so mad about something dumb -- like getting threatened with a trip to see Mrs. Herrera! But also, I kind of notice if I keep my calm self and just act cool, like it's not some big deal, I actually get out of the mess. It's so cool! But in this case, I didn't even get a chance to try it before Mr. Rarebit dropped in and just handled the whole thing.

But anyway, Meggie, just to NOT be one of those people who ONLY talks about all the bad things going on -- AND to take my mind off the upcoming CSG thing -- I thought I'd tell you something good that happened. Like I was just saying, Mr. Rarebit came into the art room just when this dumb hall monitor guy was about to send me to the principal. I'm sure you remember how I told you about his arm being kinda weird and deformed or something? Well, today when I was talking to him, I suddenly realized I hadn't even noticed or thought about his arm at all, like for weeks. Like I'd forgotten all about it and it didn't even seem that weird to me anymore. I only wish I'd been the kind of person to not ever notice it at all (or especially feel weird or nervous about it). You wouldn't have, that's one thing I'm pretty sure of. And also one of the things I love about you, Meg. You always accept people totally as they are. But I'm getting better -- I hope!

Scene 2-3f
HA HA! I just proved a theory!! When a hostile, mean person confronts you, if you don't get all hostile and mean back at them, you might do better. I mean, Meg, there's this guy in the school named Bo. And he's like pretty cute when you look at him, but his personality is known by everyone to just be totally mean. Everyone says he's like super-smart but it's like he's mad at everything all the time. And he hangs out with all the worst kids, who totally hate being at school. So I pretty much try to avoid him.

But today he found me in the art room after the bell had rung, and I know he was going to get me in trouble. But I just decided to be really nice and friendly to him and not get all crazed about it for once. So I did and it was kind of amazing how he just sort of ended up being more friendly to me too (AND didn't send me to the principal's office either, thank goodness). I think if an angry person sees you getting angry back at them, they get even worse. But sometimes people like Bo can calm down if you don't act like them.

The only problem is, when someone gets like that, usually I just lose it and blast out my temper right back at them, so my theory doesn't even get a chance to work. I know I don't have to tell you about my famous temper, right Meggie? <  <  <

Scene 3a-1m
Guess who I'm talking about:

1.  Cute

2.  USUALLY nice

3.  Can be a creep

4.  Big mouth when he should shut up

5.  Totally cute

Yep, you're right. (I KNOW you know who I mean, M.)  Sometimes I think I'm in love and the next minute I can't STAND him. He can be SO immature! And now--I mean today--he's making matters worse because unfortunately a few months ago I told him my birthday and now with this weird mess I'm in, he's just putting his stupid 2 cents in everywhere!

Why did I ever tell him my real birthday?! That time when I did, he goes, "Hey, that means you're a Cancer." I go, "Yeah, I am." Then he says, "Well, I'm a Taurus.  Did you know that Cancers and Taurus's are really compatible?" So then I say, "Gee, I didn't think astrology was something you'd be in to." And he gets this big smile on his face and says to me, "HAAAAAA!  You got that right, new girl.  I just know about it because my sister Valeria knows all about that stuff and keeps pounding it into me.  Plus, she's a Cancer and she's pretty cool, for a girl."

If he says one more word to anyone, I'm going to probably have to stuff a huge sock in his mouth or something. Wish me luck for the rest of the day, Meggie--I NEED IT!

Scene 3a-1c
Doesn't it just drive you crazy when you hear some people whispering or something? Or when you know someone's got a secret that you want to know about too? I hate it SO much. I'm probably too curious for my own good, ya know, Meg? I just can't stand it when people are talking in those little hushed voices and you can't hear practically a word they're saying.

Well, not that that's happened to me recently, but I was just thinking about it. Due to the fact that this time I'm the one with some secrets and some people are dying to find out what they are. Don't ask me how everything gets around this school so fast, but it just does. It's unbelieveable, actually. Mavis keeps telling me my secrets are going to come back to haunt me. And even though I get SO mad when she says that--AND I just want to know how she knows!--even though all that, I'm kind of afraid she's right.

Scene 3a-1u
OH MY GOSH. Okay, Meg, this is something I've got to write down right now because it's practically unbelievable. This really popular guy--I THINK--has a crush on pretty the sweetest, cutest--and probably the shyest--girl in the entire 8th grade. Of course he didn't admit it or anything, but it was like a little light went on in my head suddenly, while I was having this little conversation with him today. I felt like Mavis or something. Like it was a thing I was just suddenly SO SURE OF! I have got to keep my eye on this and just watch what happens. And not say anything to anyone about it. So. Looks like I've got another secret!

Scene 3a-2d
Okay, Meggie Muffin, check this out:  The principal wants to send me to a shrink! I mean like a kid psychologist or something. You think I'd have to like lie on a couch and tell her about my dreams or something? That would be SO weird!!

Okay, I KNOW you'll be totally laughing when you read this (and so am I). Maybe I could tell her about that dream I had where Matt and I were chained to our desks next to each other when school got out and we couldn't leave. You said that meant I liked him, but I STILL think it meant I wanted to get away from him and from school and couldn't!   <

But seriously, Meg, Mrs. Herrera doesn't actually want to send me to a shrink (and anyway, she's called a "guidance counselor"). She just wants me to talk about what's up with me. She's kind of amazing. I mean, like she can tell from about a mile off if you've got something going on, or if something's bothering you or whatever. And just between you and me, I'd really like to have somebody to talk to about everything that I'm thinking about and feeling today. It's pretty all over the place. I think it's a really good thing, actually, that they have counselors for people to talk to. It just helps a person be clear about everything that's happening to them, you know? But excuse me--I don't exactly want to go see a person named SPIRULINA WHEATGRASS!!

Scene 3a-2a
Why does a person even want to be part of a group that's usually not one bit friendly to anyone but each other?! (Because right now, I kind of feel like I'd give anything to be part of ---NOT the CSGs, but the Ones.)  AM I CRAZY? Probably, but Meg, sometimes I just wish that I had this huge bunch of friends around here who totally thought I was the best, most cool friend they had. AND who were the most popular kids in the school. Instead I get like the Zitbomb hunting me down.

I know you're right when you say that just being considered the most popular in the school doesn't mean you're really that great. OR that it makes your life easier. I'm sure it doesn't. But from here, right at this exact moment, anyway, it kind of looks like it does. You know what I mean? Wish you were here, Meggie, I really do.

Scene 3a-2h
To clique or not to clique--that is the question!!!!

Since you're not here to talk to about it, Meggie, and I have to decide by the end of the day exactly what to do, I guess I'll just have to FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF!

But I think the whole thing would be A LOT easier if that dumb Dana St. Clair wasn't even involved. Did you ever notice how a thing might seem totally perfect at first, but if you wait long enough something ALWAYS shows up to complicate things? I think it's like a secret plot of the world or whatever. Like your perfect situation always has a part that sooner or later you find out isn't perfect. And that messed up part always forces you to use more energy just trying to figure things out and be happy and make it all perfect again, like you THOUGHT is was at first. Instead of just being able to be lazy and just enjoy the perfect situation.

Mom says every challenge is really an opportunity for you to GROW. But know what? I kind of wish that wasn't true and that you could just have everything always all figured out and easy. AND PERFECT.

Scene 3b-1m
Meggie, best far-far-far-way friend,

I just found out something that makes me feel kind of bad. It's that my friend Jessie is going away for some really cool vacation--AND she's taking another girl with her. I mean, it's not like I ever expected her to invite me or anything. But when I found out this other girl was going with Jessie and her family I felt totally jealous! I just didn't even know they were that good of friends, for one thing. Also, I just kind of thought Jessie was a person I could always have as a good friend whenever I really needed one.

I guess maybe I HAVE been kind of moody around her sometimes. Like if I've got some problem I don't exactly always act in the most friendly way. But still! Did I ignore her when she had problems or stuff she wanted to talk about? I don't know. Maybe I did. But anyway, right this second I feel totally left out, and I hate that feeling.

Scene 3b-1g
Meggie, I cannot WAIT for this day to be over and vacation to start. For one thing, I'm going to call you up and have about a 10-hour conversation or something--about EVERYTHING! Until Dad makes me get off the phone anyway! Everything is just so intense right now or something. People in all these little groups, with each other, and I'm just kind of standing around and watching them be friends and go off together with all these plans and whatever. While meanwhile, I've got NO ONE. I don't know. It's really not that bad. But it is a little confusing.

Plus, I've got to give back the BOOK. I already told you all about it. And you're right about just being brave and giving it back. So I decided today is the day. I dug it out from where I'd hidden it and brought it to school. I've got it right now. But giving it back--I mean, right to their faces--is NOT going to be easy. Especially with all this other stuff happening. Well, I'm counting the hours now. School's almost over and I am GLAD!

Scene 3b-1w
One person I've probably not ever told you about is this girl Darnetta. She's been on the Yearbook since last year and if you think I'm a good photographer, well, Meggie, I'm not kidding, she's totally better than I am! But I don't know her that well because she just kind of keeps to herself and doesn't say that much ever. So today in the yearbook office we ended up talking for probably the first time, in a real conversation anyway.

I think she's kind of cool. I mean, I just told her a little bit about what was going on with me--just really vaguely, I mean--and it was like she got it right away. And after talking to her, now part of me is REALLY feeling like joining a private exclusive kind of group might not be such a good thing to do. Like, instead, maybe I should just get to be better friends with her and Jessie. Because as it turns out, I guess they're really good friends and I never even realized that.

In fact, it kind of shocked me. All of a sudden Jessie shows up and the two of them leave together and I'm sitting there wishing they'd asked me to go along with them. And also thinking, who wants to be a CSG anyway? You know what that stands for, right, Meg? I already told you I kind of peeked into their book and saw it, right? (And yes, I AM going to give it back, today as a matter of fact!)  So first of all, I'm definitely not an S. And at this point I feel like I'm not C either. So the only thing left is the G, but I wouldn't qualify just on that one! I can't believe how I got myself into all this, I just really can't!

Scene 3c-1m
A few more hours and I'll be free. Well, at least everything will be pretty much figured out (for bad or good, whichever) and I can get on with my life! I know, I know. I sound totally melodramatic, don't I, Meggie? It's just that I can't help it! I'm going kind of crazy at the moment. And then, along with that, I'm forced to sit in POETRY CIRCLE (yuk!) with these kids (none of them ones I know that well) while my whole mind is only thinking about what's going to happen when I get to the library later on.

So you'd think I had enough to be freaked out about. Except of course, on top of everything else, that guy Arnold (who's in my poetry group, lucky me) smelled really weird and it was practically making me sick! I mean, it wasn't like he had bad B.O. or anything. He just smelled like he'd been doused in awful chemicals or something. I think he spends too much time in the science lab. Maybe the aliens coated him in something so they could track wherever he went! He's kind of like an escapee from a loony bin, if you want to know the truth. (But he did give me this really beautiful orchid though.  Because he thinks it's my birthday, boo hooooo!)  Like I probably didn't tell you this, but the first day of school he thought I was an alien abductee or something. WAY WEIRD, but kind of funny. Reminder:  Next time I have poetry circle with the Zitbomb, WEAR NOSE PLUGS!!

Scene 3c-1g
Meg!! Oh my gosh, Everything is totally going down the tubes!!! 1.  I nearly got sent to the principal's office. (Jessie to the rescue AGAIN, totally saved me!)  2. Then, talking to Jessie reminded me that I have ANOTHER reason that the CSGs are going to NOT want me as a member. The book I found!!! Having to give that secret book back is going to be majorly embarrassing.

Then, as if that isn't enough... 3.  In my language arts class, Nicole started screaming at me! She really freaked out. And I've been trying so hard to make Nicole not hate me and just maybe even be kind of a friend or whatever. OH WELL. So that's another group I won't be getting into. I just feel AWFUL!

Scene 3c-1w
Pretty soon I guess I'll be going to my next OFFICIAL CSG meeting, and who knows what'll happen next. Me taking a loyalty oath, me being a CSG. Oh Meggie, even though part of me really wants to do it, the other part feels completely like running in the other direction! I showed Jessie the book I (still) have too and she really made me feel like I'd done something that won't be that easy to get out of. I mean, she didn't get on my case or anything. But it just forced me to think about how awful I'd feel if a notebook of my private stuff (like THIS one!) got loose and into the hands of someone around here. I'd be going crazy wondering what happened to it. As I'm sure THEY are.

Think I'll just get to be good friends with Sharla Norvell and go see what HER life is like outside of school. I'm sure it's not any worse than what I'm trying to figure out right this minute anyway!

Scene 4-1p
Total Horror story! I was trying be positive about the rest of my day, and hoping not to think about all the stuff on my mind. So in computer lab I decided to team up with Chaz Franklin  He's a good friend of the Ones, and of that whole crowd, he's pretty much (or most often anyway) the nicest to me of all of them. He was acting totally cool and while we were talking, I ended up telling him how I found that BOOK. I can't believe how STUPID I was --- get ready for this, Meg --- Dana was working right across from us at the next computer terminal (which of course I didn't even realize!) and heard me!!! She totally wigged out. So now, no matter what I wanted, forget my ever being a CSG! FOR SURE, it's not gonna happen now, I'm sure! Could it get any WORSE???

Scene 4-1h
I hate feeling left out! No one likes it, I'm sure. But when you're kind of forced to move somewhere else and start all over again, it's harder than anything. Meg, right now I'm feeling like I can find my way (kind of like that song of Ruben's I told you about that I like so much, called Gotta Find My Own Way) and things will be totally okay. BUT I JUST WISH IT WOULD HURRY UP AND HAPPEN!!

One thing's for sure. When you're in a familiar place and you've got friends you like (and who like you) and you just kind of know how everything works and you feel safe and comfortable--when you feel all that, you shouldn't EVER take it for granted. You should just be thankful for it all the time. Here I am, halfway through my 8th grade year, and I really think I'm doing pretty good. I mean considering everything. But Meg, it's NOT easy. Even Jessie seems like she has a best friend now, and today I can't help it but I've had the thought that I should've been nicer to her and we could've been really much closer friends by now. And that would be a really good thing. Sometimes when you think you can have something, it's like you don't want it that much. But then when someone else thinks it's a really great thing and takes it instead of you, all of a sudden you're like totally ticked off at yourself for not taking it first!

Dana is now, I'M SURE, going to wreck everything for me for the rest of my life!

Scene 4-1t
TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK

That's the clock in my head. The LIBRARY SHOWDOWN where she tells all---and is instantly forced to walk the plank and fall into a deep dark sea of NO FRIENDS!!!

No, I'm kidding, Meggie. I'm pretty sure it's not THAT bad (at least I hope not), but Jessie accidentally let it out that I had something that DID NOT belong to me and Dana found out. I mean, she doesn't know for sure, but she definitely suspects. But hey, I think maybe that's a good thing. Because how can I not be a CSG if I know all about secret CSG stuff? They'll have to accept me, right, Meggie Muffin?

Scene 4-2m
Okay, enough of my stupid problems! For something new, try to picture this:

My computer lab teacher, Ms. Chen, is like a totally cool person. Everyone at school thinks that maybe she's secretly a spy or something. Isn't that bizarre? But if you saw her you might even think so too. But I'm sure she's not if she's really dating my homeroom teacher. Which is another rumor around here. Could you imagine a beautiful, smart, totally cool woman going out with an ex-clown? I CAN'T. I think (if I had any friends, that is) I'd plot a spy mission of my own with someone, so that we could kind of watch her after school and see what she does and where she goes. And see if she's really going out with Mr. Baldus.

I can't believe it's true, but as Whitney said to me in homeroom the other day (when she told me about the rumor about Ms. Chen), sometimes people really like someone you'd never expect them to. I guess so. But her saying that made me wonder if she secretly really DOES like Arnold. Now THAT would be hysterically funny!

Scene 4-2c
Remember how on the first day of school Mavis gave me that thing she called an Elf Rune? Well, Meggie, I still have it. And it's supposed to be for good luck or something. But it's not exactly working. Of course, that's probably because I never use it! Instead I just keep it in my locker. One time after she gave it to me, Mavis showed me this cool old book in her locker that was all about runes and especially about the Elf Rune. I remember it was kind of cool. But I think I forgot everything it said. (Great, huh?)  And now I don't exactly want to go ask Mavis to show it to me again, because she's already haunting me TOO MUCH about my secret life or whatever. I can't take one more minute of that right now, you know?

But I think I do need a little help to sail through the rest of the day now that D.St.C. is SO on the war path. It's a little scarey, actually. You think I have a temper, but I promise, you have not seen anything till you see Dana lose it. She looks like a little red-haired mongoose or something. It's really not pretty, as you would say, Meg!

Scene 4-2w
Jessie totally surprised me a second ago, Meggie, I'm not kidding. The Grump Girl (Dana) was on the rampage again (I don't know how they ever got her to vote for me, I mean it!) and all of a sudden Jessie just comes up to her and totally starts defending me. I couldn't believe it. It was pretty cool. Not to mention surprising, which I already said. Dana actually calmed down a little bit too. So maybe my upcoming meeting with the CSGs won't be as bad as I thought. Dana is still steamed, but I think she thought what Jessie was saying made sense.

There's only one thing I kind of wonder about myself. Why haven't I been better friends to Jessie. She's not one of the most popular kids in the school, but I think she SHOULD be. It's probably mainly because she's kind of quiet and shy so she isn't constantly calling attention to herself. Which I think you probably have to do to be one of the most popular kids. Or is that just a crazy thought that's not really true? Not sure. But she's a really cool, sweet person. Maybe I should pay more attention to her and less to the CSGs. Wonder what you'd do if you were here.

Well, here I go, off to meet with them again. This will definitely be interesting (gulp)!

Scene 5-1o
YEEEOWW! The put-down! Meg, before I went to meet the CSGs at the library I figured out that I needed to just go in there in a really positive way. Sometimes if you just put a lot of energy into being totally positive you can get things to go exactly the way you want them to, you know? So that's what I did.

The only trouble was, they put me on the spot right away. So my positive power got really tested, that's for sure!

Scene 5-1h
Meg, you know me, right? You know that I pretty much feel like sometimes you can use your sense of humor to lighten up a heavy-feeling situation. So that's what I did in this case, like when I went in there to meet up with the CSGs again. I thought if I just kind of made a joke of all my awful confessions they'd kind of think it was funny and see that it didn't have to be such a big serious deal.

I think I was wrong. Guess they didn't appreciate my humor. It kind of reminded me of that time I got in so much trouble with Patti G., remember? Like when I borrowed that really cool sweater of hers and spilled chocolate milk all over it? She did NOT appreciate my joke about running into a cow or whatever dumb thing I said. Well, this was pretty much one of those. Everything I said, they just got more mad! They didn't even like my joke about Curious Spy Girls. >      Some people need to get more sense of humor and not just take everything SO seriously.

(But I'm a little freaked out.  This thing isn't so good!)

Scene 5-1b
TRUE CONFESSION TIME!!!

Yep, Meggie, I decided what the heck, just go in there and tell them the truth about everything. Just be totally honest and straight out front with them and maybe get on their side that way. So I explained everything about how you and I always share our birthdays and all that. It actually made me feel a little better to just finally tell them all about that (even though I knew I'd still messed up everything).

Well, it didn't help me get accepted as a member of their group, but finally just telling them what was going on with me was (surprise, surprise) a BIG relief anyway!

Scene 5-2d
So, even though I said I'd write down everything that happened to me so you'd be able to kind of live through my first year at Whistling Pines with me, I don't think this is turning out to be something you (or ANYONE) would want to live through, is it? At least not this day! Basically, as you'll know from reading this, Meggie, today's been a total disaster! The CSGs totally hate me and it's really all my fault -- so I can't even get mad at anybody about it -- except myself. Meg, you'd probably be so upset with me. When Nakili and them started busting me for not telling them the truth a long time ago (about not being a Sagittarius), I got really mad and I sort of told them off. But really I was the one who was wrong. I know what you'd say: "Rockett you have to keep your temper!" But I didn't, and now everything's kind of awful. I don't know how you always stay so calm and cool about everything. HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!!!! Well, soon as I get home, I'm gonna call you because I'd really like to hear your voice right now Meggie Muffin.

love ya,  the NON-CSG

Scene 5-2h
So best friend of mine,

I was right about the CSGs. Turns out they only wanted me in their club if I was a Sagittarius. No exceptions--which, in my opinion, they should have made! Look what a cool person they just pushed out of their group!!! <  <

Actually, I'm really kind of bummed about it, but at least I gave them their book back. (They were pretty horrified about that, I think.)  And it looks like we're still going to be friends. I don't know, Meg, as I've told you, I've been spending alot of time with Miko and Nakili, and even Dana sometimes, and I really don't see why they couldn't let me be a CSG with them. Or at least an honorary CSG. We're always doing art projects together in Mr. Rarebit's, and fooling around and making jokes and stuff. You'd think they might AT LEAST make an exception for me.

I think I'm really seeing the bad side of cliques right now. And not just seeing it, but also totally experiencing it. I mean, you always let me share your birthday, and I let you share mine--not to mention everything else we always share. I know, I know, we were a pretty tight duo in school, just like the CSGs are tight with each other, but I'd hate to think we wouldn't have let someone else join up with us, if we met someone cool. Sometimes I think about being gone and you getting a new best friend, and I get totally jealous. But I know that you and I'll always be friends too. 4-EVER! Hey, maybe that's why Dana gets so mad at me. I mean, you think maybe she could be jealous or something? It's probably really true, huh?

Scene 5-2s
Meggie!!!!!

I totally need you here!!! I just had the most horrible experience! The CSGs fully rejected me. It was so hard not to cry right in front of them. I really thought they'd make an exception for me and make me a CSG--even though I'm not a true Sagit. It just seemed like they really liked me all this time. So I suppose I thought they would because I wanted it so much.

Now I kind of feel like I'm starting over or something, and I'm definitely feeling sad about it. It's so lonely here sometimes, you know? And I still don't feel like I belong anywhere. Oh Meggie Muffin! I just totally blew it with the CSGs. I was so pathetic! You know how I can get when I'm really upset. Even though at the end, they were pretty nice to me and telling me it wasn't that bad, I'm sure they'll never talk to me again!

But you know what? The thing is, now that I've had a few minutes to think about it, I feel kind of mad at them. I mean, I've been hanging out with Nakili and Miko for a couple months now, and I really thought they liked me, so it hurts that they didn't let me into their group in an official way -- just because I'm not a Sagittarius. THAT IS SO STUPID!!! I think I hate cliques. At least I really get the bad part about them right this minute anyway.

And hey, YOU know what an awesome friend I can be to cool Sagittarius girls, right?! So it isn't fair, at all, if you ask me. It makes me kind of think I don't want to be friends with people who are so narrow-minded anyway. Well, okay, I'd definitely still like to be friends with them. Even after everything that's happened, I still think they really are pretty cool. What am I gonna do?

Scene 6a-1b
VACATION TIME!!!

Meg, I am SO glad to be able to say I survived this semester pretty good and am on to a new semester and a new year. Even though this day has NOT been a great one. In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm trying to think if I've ever had a worse day! The only one I can think of is the day I had to say goodbye to you and move here. Nothing could ever be as bad as that day, but today is kind of like right up there close to the top of the list of Bad Days.

And to top it all off, guess who I ran into in the Bird Cage on my way home? Sharla Norvell and that guy Bo. Sharla makes me so MAD! She was totally making fun of me and laughing at me 'cause I wouldn't go with her and her loser friends to some weird party. They tried to talk me into getting in this car  and going to an after-school party somewhere. And I didn't even know who the guy driving was. A little part of me actually wanted to go too. But thankfully I'm not THAT crazy.

You know, I'm really proud of myself for not going with them though, 'cause I did feel kind of stupid saying no, especially with Sharla smirking right in my face like I was a little kid or something. I almost said yes actually, just so I'd have someone to hang out with after my CSG disaster. But at least I didn't do something stupid just to feel like I fit in somewhere. That may be the ONLY good thing that happened today -- at least I know I'm my own person.

So anyway, maybe it'll be okay that I'm not a CSG. I can be a cool person anyway, without being in a clique, right, Meggie Muffin? Right.

Scene 6b-1m
Later in the day,  at home (finally!)

Meggie, isn't it odd how a person can one minute be feeling totally bummed out about something and then the next minute, they walk into a different scene and their whole mood changes? I think people (especially me) let everything in the world get them all tweaked up too much. Like you don't have control of your own feelings or something. It's not fair! Everything that happens outside of you has some kind of effect on how you feel inside. It's like being in a roaring river or something and all the currents are just pushing you one way or the other--constantly! I'd rather be on the bridge just watching the water flow in all its different ways and just be smiling and enjoying the beauty of it no matter what happened down in the water. I think that's my goal, Meg. Really! To just be SO happy and feeling in my right place all the time that even bad things can't get me too upset. So now you've heard it, let's see how good I am at remembering to be that way!

I mean, after the  >  library experience, something happened that DID start out that way anyway. I had to stay after school a little bit because Dad was picking me up but he couldn't get there right when classes got out so I was walking by the music room and heard all this noise and music and stuff. So I peeked in and saw all those kind of explorer kids. I mean that's sort of what Arrow, Viva, and Ginger call themselves (I guess because everyone says they're trying to get a band together). All three of them were there, plus Ruben and Wolf. And it looked like they were having so much fun. So even though I feel like a total musical klutz, when they invited me in I just did it. I definitely needed some cheering up and that seemed like the perfect way to do it. So maybe I'll break free musically, what do you think?

I knew you'd think it was a bad idea! <  <  <   But at least it was a good chance to just do whatever I felt like with a bunch of pretty different but creative people! So I did! But then guess what happened?

Scene 6b-2m
Well, to cap off the day (which should NEVER have happened in the first place -- meaning I probably should have stayed in BED), I have now also made Ruben mad at me (and probably the rest of them too). He's so nice and I did something kind of mean, so I can't really blame him for not being too cool with me! But still!

I was still in the music room with all of them and things were looking up after that mess with the CSGs in the library. In fact, I was actually having a lot of fun! Then all of a sudden Mavis shows up. So I started sending her really bad vibes. I mean, I just DID NOT want her there ruining my one really good experience of the day with all her stupid predictions and stuff. Or embarrassing me like she usually does, especially in front of Ruben. Well, somehow she picked up on my feelings that I just wanted her to disappear and she tells that to everyone! Like, she goes, ROCKETT DOESN'T WANT ME HERE! Then she goes running out of the music room, making me feel really bad, and making everyone in the room, I'm sure, think I'm the meanest person on Earth!

Okay, Meggie, I know it's not real cool to make someone else feel unwanted--especially after just having that experience myself! So I don't know why I did that. I mean, really. I didn't DO anything. But I thought something and it was exactly like she heard it. And everybody else probably thought I'd vibed her out or glared at her or something. Ruben's seen me at it with her before so I'm sure he thought that just shoving her off was my normal behavior. But it's not! It was just this one time, when I didn't want to have to look at her or even hear her at all!

Ho hum, Rockett blows it again. I also know that right now, if you were here, you'd tell me to stop being so dramatic, 'cause things'll get better. Well, I sure hope so! Hopefully I'll somehow see Ruben over vacation, and try to prove to him that I'm not really a complete jerk. And if your wondering why I care so much about his opinion, well, don't make TOO much out of it. I think he's really awesome and all, but he IS kind of a prankster himself. So of course I don't really know if he's really mad at me or if he really likes me or something and is just doing some kind of stupid joke to freak me out.

Anyway, I'm home now and am now officially starting my vacation--and whatever else happens, that's one thing I'm really glad about. I feel like it might be kind of lonely, but at least I won't have to be thinking about school and stuff and all the craziness there. As soon as I finish writing this, though, I'm going to call you. I just gotta hear your voice.

Scene 6b-2g
WELL, TA DA!!!! Rockett ends up all right! While we were just jamming with all these instruments and having a total riot, Mavis came in, and even SHE joined in! It was a total blast! Ya know, I hate to say it but she was better than I was, like on the drums and everything. Okay, I'll keep saying it--I'm not the most musical person! I'm SURE you remember me trying to learn to sing, HA HA HA! But you know what felt really great, Meg?

When I went into the music room, everybody was so welcoming. They just asked me to play with them, and I didn't have to be special or do anything for them. I could just be myself and they still totally wanted me to hang out with them. So things didn't work out with the CSGs. Now I'm totally feeling like maybe that's okay, that it's not such a big deal that I didn't end up officially another CSG. Hopefully Miko, Nakili, and Dana will still want to be friends, but at least I know I'll have people here who like me, no matter what. Especially Ruben.

Happy Holidays, Meggie, and you will definitely be hearing from me by phone SOON!

Scene 6b-2s
Well, just when you think disaster has struck, everything turns out okay. I mean, yes, things with the CSGs went pretty bad, and overall I guess you could say I had a miserable day, but that music room thing turned out to be SO much fun (even though when Mavis turned up I kind of got upset at first). But I think things are definitely looking up. I ended up giving Mavis this little present I was thinking about giving her, and you should have seen her face! It doesn't seem like she gets a lot of presents, because she was SO totally happy when I gave it to her, and I felt a little bad about that. Even though she sometimes annoys me out of my MIND, I actually like Mavis, ya know? Someday you're really going to have to meet her, Meg. And everyone around here.

But back to the music room....You would have been totally proud of me! We played all these different instruments and Ruben and Wolf taped practically the whole thing (video and audio cassette both!) and it was sooo fun!!! You KNOW I'm not that musically  but I felt like even I wasn't half bad. NO, I didn't singthough, so quit laughing, Meggie!!! But YUK!!! Remember when I had to sing all by myself in chorus? THE WORST! I've learned my lesson! But even Ruben told me I had good rhythm -- cool huh? I mean, coming from him, it was definitely a compliment. H's really great, Meggie, especially how he just seems to accept people no matter who they are. Like, even Mavis and Arnold. He just lets everyone be, much more than anyone else I know. It's such a rare, cool thing, don't you think? Actually, he's kind of like you in that way. But don't get any ideas. He's just a friend, OKAY? <   <   <

Except there IS one thing I want to tell you about on that subject that kind of made me excited. But it can't wait a whole half a year more for you to read this. So I've gotta call you right now!

Scene 6c-1c
Later, at home, after my WONDERFUL last day of the semester!

So what do you do after you've survived getting busted by a grouch of a hall monitor, screamed at by various people who think you're keeping something of theirs, writing the world's crummiest poems in L.A. class, and then being rejected by a clique? You get out of there as fast as possible and try to think only about all the stuff you're going to do to make up for a few not-so-hot moments. Which is what I was doing when I coasted by the cafeteria and saw the most popular guys in there hanging out for some reason. I couldn't believe they were all still at school. But I guess they were waiting for the Ones because they all had this plan to go to the mall and do present shopping or something. And of course, curious me, I got sucked right in to the mix. Probably because I just wanted to show them my photo album and some new stuff in there. I had a lot of good pictures of them and I guess the artist in me wanted to show off, what can I say?

And then a big snobby shadow crossed my path and NICOLE entered, with--of course--her two mostly snobby best friends. So what did I do--caught there with my photo album wide open with all of their best guy friends? Maybe you'd say you expected it, Meggie, or maybe you'd be surprised.....

Scene 6c-2m
Because, okay, total shock!!! Even though I was not too happy about her just sweeping in like I was in her private territory or something (and I definitely showed it) Nicole ended up not being a total waste after all. As it turns out, she really liked my pictures of her and the Ones, hmmmm. Should I be suspicious? Part of me thinks so, because besides that, Nicole actually asked me to do something with her over VACATION. Is that something to be suspicious about? I maybe think so, but she at least seemed pretty sincere. But I am going to watch out. I mean, I'm really happy that MAYBE she's being nicer to me, but I don't want to become her lap dog, if you know what I mean.

Meggie, do you think I could be a One? The guys they hang out with are pretty cool. Chaz is really nice to me, and Max -- well, I have this feeling that he's really sweet under all that show-off stuff. Cleve can be really nice too, but is also kind of a big flirt. Like, you never know when he's serious or just completely faking you out and trying to get you to like him when he doesn't really like you in that way at all. Remember that guy Jay in 6th grade? Well, Cleve's like that, but way cuter! I can still picture us following Jay around school that whole year. It's really lucky he moved away or we would've made total fools of ourselves! You know the strange thing, Meg? I'm not really sure if I'd want to be a One. Not like they've asked, of course, but they make a lot of people feel really bad. And I don't think I could act like they do in that totally snobby way sometimes (most of the time!). We never did, did we, Meg? And after this whole thing with the CSGs, like I already told you, I'm starting to wonder if cliques are cool at all.

But now it's holiday time and so I am NOT gonna say one more thing about all this junk. I'm going to call you and talk for like a million hours and I am also going to figure out a way to have a ton of fun things to do all through vacation--WITH some cool kids. NO MATTER WHAT!!

Scene 6c-2g
....because in a way, the day totally turned around, Meg. Maybe you were sending me your fantastic Meggie Muffin Magic? I think you must have, 'cause -- get this -- the Ones were really nice to me! They completely RAVED about my pictures (kind of like they thought they were a bunch of fashion models, ha ha). Cleve, Chaz, and Max all really acted like they liked them. And then even Nicole seemed to think they were cool. She even asked me for some help with her own camera. Can you believe it? (I can't)  It's like you said, Meggie, if you do what you love and what you do best, people will notice you. I think in this case you're definitely right. I love taking pictures, I think I'm pretty good at it, and they noticed! TA-DA!! So maybe this isn't the second worst day of my life like I thought it was turning out to be. <   Okay, I know it isn't the best either, but at least it's not the total disaster I thought it was becoming! Oh, and another thing, I always thought Cleve and Nicole were a couple, but now I'm not so sure -- just something I noticed. But don't get any weird thoughts in your head, MM, because I am NOT thinking those thoughts!

Vacation time and I'm ready!!! Talk to you soon, best best best faraway friend!

Scene 6c-2t
.....Because I just kind of chickened out on letting them see my album. I mean, the guys were completely cool, and I trusted them. But I just had this feeling of NOT wanting Nicole and them to laugh at me or make fun of what I'd done so I just instantly shut it and refused to let them see anything in there. Even though they hassled me about it for what seemed like forever.

The thing is, I did not especially feel good about chickening out like that, ya know, Meggie? I mean, I'm not normally like that, am I? And especially because I think I took some totally great pictures--especially of them--and I'm actually really proud of everything in there. It's like I did a lot of hard work and that's what my photo album proves.

I've really gotta learn more about not caring what people like Nicole think. And especially about knowing I am talented and deserve to feel good about myself and EVERYTHING I do or everything I am, no matter if some snob tries to bug me. The true thing is, if she made fun of any of my pictures, that would just prove how totally dumb she is and that she just doesn't get anything! Like, what's so cool about someone who makes a person feel bad about themself? Right now just writing this it's making me so mad. It's SO LAME!!

Meg, I could just hear you saying to me, Rock, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!! Be convinced about how great you are and everyone else will believe it too and treat you the best!

I know you're right. It makes total sense every time you've ever said it to me. And I'm working on it, I swear. You are a great best friend and it's too bad you can't be here right now, this minute. But know what? It's like you're here anyway, and always helping me become the most awesome person I could ever be. Thanks, MM. You're the best.

And I gotta go call you and tell you that, right now! Next semester, I just know, is going to be really great! More details coming up soon!

Scene 1-1r
Tuesday, February 9th

Dearest Meggie Muffin! I wish you were here! Having my BF live SO far away is hardest at times like this. I mean, the Valentine's Day dance is THIS weekend and it would be so great if you were here to go through it with me. We're having voting on a King and Queen of Hearts too -- and they'll be announced at the dance. I just keep thinking about that and wondering who's going to get it. To be honest, I kind of wish I'd get Queen. (Isn't that dumb?!) But anyway, I don't think people are going to vote for the new girl. I mean just about a day ago someone called me that! As in "the new girl's in my class." And it wasn't Ruben either, who I already told you kind of calls me that like a nickname.

When R. says it I like it for some reason, but when other people use it, like in a more serious way, it kinda bugs me, which is probably a weird thing. But like hell-o! I've been here since September already! But okay, I guess I kinda understand, because I'm still just figuring out a lot of stuff, like who likes who and all that... speaking of which -- remember that mean guy I told you about who's a (horrible) hall monitor? (Bo) Well, I think he has a crush on this girl I know -- I mean one who is TOTALLY sweet and not his type at all. I hope it's not true!

Scene 1-1f
Tuesday, February 9th

So Meggie, my very BEST faraway friend. You don't know how much I wish you were here with me!!! It's only a few days 'til our Valentine's Dance, like I told you about on the phone. Weird, huh? I mean, my FIRST dance, and yeah, I'm pretty excited! Maybe it's partly because I kinda feel like this is going to be my chance to say, "TA-DA!  Here I am, Rockett Movado!" Of course an impression like that means having something cool to wear, which I haven't got! I swear! I still don't even know what I'm going to wear on Saturday night. Can you believe it? If you were here, we could swap clothes and go together! Whatever I end up choosing though, I promise I'll take lots of pictures and show them to you later!

Scene 1-1e
Tuesday, February 9th

Attention Meggie Muffin, Best Friend in the World!! (Even though we live TOO far away from each other now.)

This morning the Rockett Movado official countdown to the Val Day Dance begins! Okay, okay, I can hear you saying to me, "It's only a dance, don't make too big a deal out of it." But Meg, you know how hard it was for me to move here, so it would mean a LOT if I won Queen of Hearts! It would prove that I finally fit in! Do you think I'm being silly? Maybe I don't have any chance of winning, but you always told me to think positive, so I AM!

EVEN THOUGH, I keep having these like daytime nightmares of like ending up getting crowned Queen with one of the worst guys in the school or something. Meaning a weird unpopular one. All the popular girls would laugh at me and it would be so awful. I know. I shouldn't even THINK like this. So I won't! More later...

Scene 1-2m
Major BUMMER:  I totally blew it with Ruben (again!). In homeroom, I bit his head off for no reason... or at least HE thinks so! Oh Meg, why do I lose my temper like that? I've gotta learn how to be more easygoing or something -- especially around him. I know he's really just a big teasing brat and doesn't mean to make me look stupid. But sometimes that's how I feel and I just wig out a little bit. But in my own defense, he WAS being kind of a jerk this time -- especially because he was teasing me in front of everybody in the whole homeroom. I HATE when he points me out like that when I'd just rather be a little less visible, ya know? I mean, with every kid's eyes on me and all that. And even our teacher (Mr. Baldus) sometimes jokes about us. It's AWFUL and I wish Ruben would just figure out that I hate it!

Scene 1-2f
Well, Meggie, things are definitely looking up. I won the dance theme contest!! WOO HOO! I can't believe it! It means everybody basically really liked my ideas for the dance theme, which I named Caribbean Heartscapade. Heartscapade -- Escapade...get it? Do you think that's stupid? I just thought it should be different than a normal Valentine thing, that's all. Like, I could just see a kind of jungle idea, with all these cool birds and stuff. So I just put it down and did some sketches --- AND GOT IT!!

The only bad thing is that after Ruben caught me totally daydreaming in homeroom, then Stephanie and Chaz just wouldn't let it go! Hey, remember I told you about them? They're both in the most popular group in the whole school and they always tell everyone they're just good friends, but if you ask me something's going on there. I mean, I think Stephanie has a thing for Chaz or whatever. She's always putting him down and teasing him, so it seems like she does. Meggie, do you ever wonder if other people can tell when you like someone? I was just thinking, if I can guess who other people like, can they guess who I like? That's a scary thought!

Scene 1-2e
Well, forget blending in! Nicole just gets up in homeroom and announces this dumb contest between me and her for Queen of Hearts! I don't think so!! But at least that means she thinks I'm competition -- or maybe she just thinks if everyone only has to choose between me and her, they'll definitely pick her and she'll win for sure! I have GOT to call you tonight for advice!

Other news: There are all these rumors going around about my art teacher Mr. Rarebit going away for a while to look for his "lost love" or something like that! Doesn't that sound romantic? Of course, it's just a rumor, and it might be totally bogus, especially because a lot of kids think Mr. Rarebit is going out with the computer sciences teacher Ms. Chen. But whatever's going on with him, it's kinda funny to think about a teacher having a life, huh? I wonder if Miko has heard the rumor, since I happen to know she has a HUGE crush on Mr. Rarebit. She's even started to sometimes use Nicole's little habit of calling him by his FIRST NAME. Not to him, I mean, but still. She actually calls him Christophe sometimes! WEIRRRRDDD!!!

Scene 2-1p
So besides everything else happening Saturday night, there's also going to be this big Battle of the Bands and guess who's in it??? YEP, you got it. I can't WAIT!!! Listen, Meggie, he is so cute that sometimes I feel like I can't stand it. I mean, I feel like he knows exactly what I'm thinking when he looks at me and I feel like my face is like turning as red as a cherry tomato or something. It's awful!

But this isn't about him. I REALLY wanted to talk about the girl band that's in the Battle of the Bands. They're called Arrow and the Explorers and I think it's so cool that there are GIRLS in this contest, don't you? It makes it kind of hard to decide who to vote for though, you know? Because I think girls should stick up for other girls, especially when they're doing something really cool and --especially-- BRAVE to get up on a stage and SING!!! Plus, the lead girl, Arrow, gave me a tape of their music and when I listened to it, I couldn't believe how really good it was! I guess they must have rehearsed really a lot. Or else they're totally talented -- which of course they must be! Hey! Someday when they're big and famous, maybe they'll let me design one of their CD covers! Ha Ha!

Well, too bad I don't have any musical talent! (You know how great a singer I am!!) But if I was into music and good at it, that'd probably be a good way for everyone to know who I was, and to think I was cool. But forget that, right, Meg? Oh My Gosh! Do you remember when we were in camp and we got up and sang the Silly Sea Monster Song? Boy, we were BAD! I guess I'll have to think up a different way to become well known, huh?

Scene 2-1n
Well, it's still days before Saturday night and dumb Sharla Norvell has already taken all the fun out of going to the dance for me! She kept talking about what a popularity contest the dance was, and it just totally bummed me out! I know in a way she IS right, but what she just doesn't get is that a lot of stuff in life IS a popularity contest. Remember when my Dad was trying to get the job here in Whistling Pines? Every interview he went to, he wore a suit! MY DAD... in a SUIT! That's a popularity contest, (sort of). I mean, isn't it? He had to make the interviewers like him so that he could get the job. So it isn't totally wrong that I want to be popular, so long as I don't act like Nicole -- right?

P.S. I'm not going to the dance with a boy, in case you were wondering. I'm sure you won't feel surprised when I tell you my parents already said I couldn't exactly date yet. Not that any guy's asked me anyway. So whatever! It's still gonna be fun. Plus, if you go with a date everyone's probably looking at you the whole night to see how you act. YUK!!

Scene 2-1i
Language Arts. Assignment to write about a perfect date or something strange like that. So I thought I'd put mine in here for you to read:

On my perfect date, a CERTAIN guy would pick me up at my house, with flowers! He would meet my parents, (and NOT think they were weird old hippies or anything). Then he would take me to the Tres Stuffe Art Museum, where we would walk hand in hand as we looked at the paintings and sculptures. After we would go to the mall and eat some lunch or something.

Note: She didn't really assign us to write about a date, just more like an "ideal Valentine experience" or whatever. But I thought you'd like to read about my date idea! So okay, Meggie, what do you think? And also, what's new with Matthew? You haven't told me ONE THING about him in like a month or something. I've got to remember to ask you about it when we talk!!

Scene 2-2y
Language Arts -- should've been Language Attack the way Nicole and Sharla were going after each other in there. I so do NOT want to get in the middle of the two of them fighting. I kinda like both of them, but then I kinda don't trust either of them. Nicole wants for everyone to worship her, and Sharla wants everyone to think she's above wanting anyone to worship her.

The thing is, earlier today Nicole announced that she and I are going to be rivals for Queen of Hearts! I couldn't believe it when she did that! I mean, I don't really get what she's doing, but I know that it must be in her favor, because Nicole doesn't do anything that might hurt her popularity. That's one thing I'm sure of!

Scene 2-2n
Meg, I was wondering if you think it's bad to like a guy who's in a band. Just as a THEORY, I mean. I'm asking because guys in bands are so popular. If I had a boyfriend, I'm not sure I'd like all those girls screaming at him and trying to get his attention and all that. I KNOW what you'll think when you read this but I don't necessarily mean me and you-know-who. But it IS something that a person might kinda think about when all this band stuff is flying around the school and people keep asking me if I'm going to the dance with RR and all that. It's just embarrassing! (And no, I'm not going with him. Viva says Ruben told her that he's so concentrated on playing and everything that no way could he worry about being with a girl that night.) But I've really gotta get your thoughts about going with a band guy, so I'll call and ask you soon!

Scene 2-2u
Well, I just had a run-in with the Zitbomb that you might say was -- kinda SCARY! Arnold was standing in the hall before Language Arts class, and he goes, "Hail the bright princess of the Purple Orchid!" Basically I wanted to DIE! Then he says that at the dance I would take my proper place on "the throne of beauty." Either he thinks I'm going to win Queen of Hearts, which would be cool, or he and his fellow nerd pals are planning something awful! Meggie Muffin, I need advice! How do I find out if he is arranging something totally embarrassing? He'd better not do anything, or I'll just die of embarrassment.

I'm sorry I call him the Zitbomb. Everybody does, but sometimes I feel kinda guilty about it (and I NEVER call him that to his face) because he's pretty much a sweet guy even if he is a total goof of a guy. I mean, you know how awful it feels to be called a mean name? I'm sure everybody does, so I don't get why people (including me, unfortunately) think it's funny to make other people feel bad. I'm gonna try to not do it anymore. It's NOT cool, is it?

Scene 2-3d
Meg, you are going to think I am so stupid when I tell you this. Well, not stupid, actually, but maybe gullible or something. Not sure exactly what word I mean, but here's what happened. Nicole and I were passing notes in our Lang. Arts class and unfortunately, Mrs. Tinydahl caught us. Well, she caught ME anyway. AWFUL!! She forced me to read the note out loud so I faked it like I'd written it myself when it was really written by Nicole!

I don't know why I did that, except that I just didn't want to get her in trouble or make her look dumb, I guess. Nice me -- HAH! The worst thing though, is that it totally backfired onto me in a way because she'd written down that she liked this guy Wolf. So when I read the note out loud -- even though I only said his initials and not his whole name -- everybody went CRAZY and thought I liked him! It was HORRIBLE -- not to mention it'll probably be all over the whole school that I like Wolf instead of Nicole. What was I thinking?!! I probably should've worried more about myself than Nicole and let HER be the one being teased. But that just seemed like a horrible thing to do to someone, so in a way I guess I should feel good about being the one to get her off the hook. Oh, I don't know. My feelings about it are TOTALLY mixed up at the moment. Half proud of myself for doing a good thing for someone else, even if it was Nicole, and half totally feeling like -- as my little brother would say -- a big CHUMP!! GRRRRR!!!

One last thing though: I think it's REALLY weird if Nicole Whittaker really likes this guy Wolf DuBois. I just can't imagine it at all. Neither could you if you knew them.

Scene 2-3r
OH MY GOSH! Meg, if you were here at this school you'd know how totally strange this is: That popular girl, Nicole Whittaker? Well, we've been kind of more friendly lately and it turns out that I think she likes this guy Wolf, who is totally not her type or in her same popular crowd or anything!

I can't believe it, but it seems true since our Language Arts teacher completely made a fool of her today. See, we were writing these dumb essays in class and the teacher got Nicole's and read it out loud. It was about her perfect Valentine scene and it was all about her and WOLF! TOTALLY WILD! And the whole class thought so too. Everybody cracked up about it, which did NOT make Nicole one bit happy. But she was so upset and it was so unexpected that she'd really like Wolf that it almost makes her seem human, ya know?

But then there's this other girl, part of the Explorers band and more a friend of Wolf's and those guys. But I'm pretty sure she likes him too. So if she has to go against Nicole to get him to like her, she probably will be all upset now. Well, that should be interesting anyway. But Meg, this makes me think about when you like someone and other girls like the same guy. It's kind of weird, but have you ever noticed how it seems like ALL the girls in a school will ALL like the same few boys? Why is that? That is a mystery of the universe.

Scene 2-3f
I can't believe I ever am dumb enough to trust that popular girl Nicole Whittaker. SHE'S SUCH A WITCH! Like today, she totally lied about me in our Language Arts class -- to the teacher though! See, first she sends me this note saying how she thinks the teacher is so awful (which she kind of is) and then I wrote something back and passed it back to Nicole. But then all of a sudden Mrs. Tinydahl (the teacher -- I've told you about her) sees Nicole with the note and tells her to read it out loud in front of the class. So Nicole stands up and reads the part SHE wrote and faked it like I'd written it -- even the part that said the teacher was so awful. I couldn't BELIEVE it. It was the meanest thing to do and it would've been worse than it was except that just then the Pine burst into our class and got everybody going. But I was NOT happy about that. I practically died! So much for my thinking that she and I were becoming friends... NO WAY!

I hate always feeling suspicious when a person acts like they like you but in your mind you're thinking -- what do THEY want? But now I know why I do get suspicious. At least Mrs. T. didn't get mad at me. She probably didn't even get the insulting part, since she usually acts like she's on another planet or something!

Here's another thing you wouldn't expect about making friends with people (or not!!). Sometimes I feel like I'm kinda starting to like Sharla Norvell as a friend. You know who she is -- the one I said was scary. The teacher sent her to the principal today for NO reason -- at least no reason that was her fault. So I felt sorry for her. It was just so unfair, which is maybe why she's always so tough or something -- cuz maybe she keeps having unfair things happen to her because everyone thinks she's bad. And it keeps going around like that and getting worse or something. I don't know!

But underneath all that mean stuff, I think she may actually be cool. At least you can trust her to say what she thinks. Which is more than I can say for Nicole, who acts just like Caroline Anders used to -- meaning  being mean all the time except when she wanted something from you or whatever. (Is she still at your school? And is she just as snobby as ever?)

Scene 3-1e
Okay, Meg, I know I sometimes exaggerate things, but I'm NOT exaggerating when I say that the decorations for the dance are going to be awesome! A whole bunch of people signed up for the decoration committee, more than I ever thought would -- which is so cool. Even Arnold and his Purple Knights said they'd help (even though I can't see them really wanting to hang up decorations. Maybe they'll rig up some moving bird decorations for me or something. That'd be kinda cool.) This really horrible guy who hangs out with Arnie and is always trying to get Nakili to like him was slobbering around saying he could be there IF there were a lot of cute girls working on the decorations. Oh sure. I felt like saying Sorry, Duane, they'll probably all leave if you show up. But I didn't.

And guess what? He did do some sketches that were pretty cool. Like for ways to hang the decorations or whatever. Probably just to get on my good side so I'd say good things about him to Nakili. Oh well. If he'd just stop wearing floods and sandals with white tube socks, that would definitely help his image around here. And grow his hair out. And stop keeping his pens in a pocket protector. And wipe his nose more often. Oh, forget it!

Scene 3-1g
I'm so glad there isn't a dance every weekend! It'd make me crazy for sure. Especially trying to put outfits together that I'd actually like to wear! Here are my ideas so far, Meg. What do you think?

-- Wear comfortable shoes! I want to dance, so heels are out of the question. Anyway, I have trouble walking in them.

-- Wear something colorful. Since I'm the designer of the dance theme, I think I should probably wear something that kind of goes with the color scheme!

-- The big question is do I wear a dress (maybe too formal) or a skirt and shirt, or pants (which I wear nearly every day, so people may think I have no nice clothes). Aggggg! It would REALLY help me out if you were sitting here with me right this minute to tell me what to do. Cuz remember, I still know what great taste you have.

Scene 3-1d
Okay, PICTURE THIS! Mr. Pill, the Pine, and Bo having a fight! CRAZEE!! As Arrow would say.

You know, Mrs. H. told me Mr. Pill was going to do all the catering for the dance until he submitted his menu and Mr. Baldus complained like a loudmouthed foghorn or something like that. Well, all I can say is: Thank Goodness!!!

Here is the totally GROSS menu that Mr. Pill wanted to make (according to Mrs. Brader, the Principal's secretary, who let me look at his list):

Tropical sludge punch, Rubberized soy meat canapes, Flying cockroach puree on toasts, and Finger sandwiches.

Finger sandwiches??? Ick! Knowing him he probably means REAL fingers, probably from the hands of kids in this school or something! So now I guess if he wants to do it, he's got to do something more normal. Like cookies and brownies and punch and all that. But if you were here you'd croak to see the kinds of stuff we have to eat -- so I'm sure the Dance food is NOT gonna be much better.

Scene 3-2c
Okay, you know how my mom always says I can be overly dramatic? Well, this was probably the most dramatic scene I was ever a part of, but I WAS SO MAD! This afternoon I totally caught Max CHEATING! He was stuffing the King and Queen of Hearts ballot box with a bunch of votes. Even though everyone's only supposed to vote once! I'd just like to know where he got all those extra ballots too. But whatever. When I figured out what he was doing I was just so steamed I didn't even think to ask him about that.

One of the things that really made me mad was that he said he was doing it for Jessie. OH SURE! That is so not fair that I don't even think SHE'D be happy about it if she knew. Meg, I don't know what to do now and I wish I never saw him doing that! I mean I don't want to go run and tell on him so everybody thinks I'm a total tattletale (since I'm sure his friends would find out I did it in about a second). But if I DON'T say anything, I'll probably be wondering for the rest of my life if I did the right thing. AND the whole voting won't even be true if he just stuffed a million votes in there. What a mess!

Then as I was getting away from him I bumped into Stephanie and Whitney in the hall and just decided to chill out and not tell them anything about what I was thinking about inside. Too complicated and confusing, ya know? So then they invited me to go to the dance with them, which is kind of cool. Yeah, I hope Nicole knows about it, if I decide to actually go with them. I mean, I may still go by myself, or maybe even with someone else, but it was GREAT just that they even asked me!

Scene 3-2i
What a HORRIBLE thing that just happened to me, Meg. You won't believe this probably and I wish I never saw it. Our wonderful school mascot (ha ha) actually came to my class last period and got me out of class. Kind of amazing, but then he says I should go to the art room and check out what was going on there, so I did.

That's when I happened to see Max D. in there and it totally looked like he was putting extra votes in the ballot box for who's going to be named King and Queen of Hearts at the dance! I bet you anything he's doing it to help Nicole win! Which means no one else will EVER have a chance.

So then I start thinking that maybe I don't even want to go to the dance at all, cuz now I know I for one have NO chance of winning Queen of Hearts! But then that's TOTALLY STUPID because when I stop being so bugged by what he did, I know that I don't really care that much if I win the dumb Queen thing anyway. I know the dance will be really fun no matter who wins and it's not such a big deal for me.

PLUS, how could I not go and then miss Ruben's band -- especially since they're going to announce their new name? I'd be the last person in the whole school to find out what it was, which (okay, I admit it) I'd hate. So of course I'm going!!

Anyway, about Max, I don't know whether I should've said something or not, but I do know that I don't think Max the Man is that cool anymore!

P.S. Dana St. Clair is SUCH a pain!! I don't see how that Ginger girl can stand to hang out with her.

Scene 3-2r
Listen, Meggie, did you ever get caught in a thing where you had two ways of dealing with a situation and you weren't sure which to do? That is exactly what happened to me today. And it turned out that the thing I did about it was the more brave one, I think. Maybe.

The thing that happened was that I caught Max D. putting extra votes in the ballot box for our dance King and Queen thing. So instead of even asking him what he was doing (because I'm sorry but it WAS pretty obvious) I just went to Mrs. Herrera and reported him! I know it's kind of crummy to be a tattletale, but I felt like I couldn't just let it happen without saying something. It's just so totally unfair to all the other kids, ya know?

The thing is, Jessie told me she heard something from Max about HER winning the contest, which means maybe it was her name he was putting in there on all those votes. WEIRD!!! Listen, do you think one of the most popular guys in this school (Max) would like a girl who wasn't part of his group? I mean Jessie is awesome and totally great, but I kind of can't imagine them being a couple or whatever. I mean, AT ALL.

In a way, I feel bad because I think I turned Max in not just because he was cheating, but because I was a little jealous. I'm pretty sure there isn't a guy around that would EVER do something like that for me. Not that I think Jessie would ever like Max after he did such a LOSER thing, but it is kind of flattering. Did I act totally lame?

Scene 4-1b
Meggie Muffin, you would've been so PROUD of me. I didn't want to go to the dance alone... so I called the Ones. Really! I just called them up and asked if they wanted to get together before the dance, so that we could make a really dramatic entrance together... and they said YES! It was amazing. I was definitely kind of scared to ask them but then I figured what the heck? All they can do is say no and make me feel totally humiliated! HAHA! I mean, I was pretty sure things were cool with them since they've been a lot nicer lately. So I just had to take a chance and it worked out really good -- for once! You know confidence is EVERYTHING!

Other information:  Wolf told me Ruben's got some new songs that he (Wolf) says are "totally killer." And here's a little secret: I actually heard Ruben practicing after school the other day and yeah, it was definitely SO EXCELLENT!! I can't believe how cool he is, Meg. But DO NOT tell anyone I said so. (Not that you would, of course. Especially from so far away.) I just hope you get to meet him some day.

Scene 4-1n
So the big dance night FINALLY arrived!!! Wow!

As it turned out, I decided to call up Jessie and go with her. She's a totally accepting, fun person, you know? And a lot of kids really like her so I knew I'd feel totally comfortable going with her to the dance and that we'd get along really good -- which might not happen if I went with the Ones or something. I mean, if I went with them, they might decide to ignore me all of a sudden, for some reason I wouldn't even know for sure and that would NOT be fun.

And what I finally decided to wear turned out pretty good too. Thanks for the suggestions, Meggie. (I'll send pictures, I promise!) We had this cool thing where you could get your picture taken outside in the hall before you went into the gym. It was like a little tropical scene that we set up so you could get an instant pic of yourself sitting in a lounge chair under a palm tree with a monkey hanging from a tree right above you (not a real one though!) or get your picture taken with a date if you had one (same thing as a monkey in some cases! ha ha!!) and stuff like that. Pretty good idea, huh?

Really good thing: My decoration ideas turned out really amazing (even I was surprised) and I got a TON of compliments!

Scene 4-1c
Meggie, did you ever just decide to TOTALLY take a chance and see how you could do on your own? Well, that's what I did about going to the dance. I just decided to have Dad drop me off there and kind of "make my entrance" on my own. At first I felt pretty nervous about it, because I felt like everyone would look at me and think, poor Rockett, she doesn't have any friends to go with to the dance. But I kind of had to get there early (at least I felt like I did) so I could make sure everything looked okay in the gym, so it wasn't so bad. I mean, like there weren't a bunch of guys all lined up watching me hanging around with only myself! Which would've been real cute, huh?

But I did find people to talk to almost instantly so I didn't stand out like a weirdo. Especially when.... GUESS WHO came and talked to me? Yep, RR came right up to me and started talking to me instead of ME looking around for him. Meg, I just can't stand how CUTE he is!

Scene 4a-2m
Poor Arnold, he totally tried to dance with Nicole! What was he thinking? Only Wolf came up at the last minute and asked Nicole to dance. Nic could not have looked more BLISSED OUT!! Then Wolf and STEPHANIE won King and Queen of Hearts. I thought that was a really cool thing because it was something you'd never even think could happen.

But at the same time, I would NOT have wanted to be in Steph's shoes when that happened! I mean I think she was probably really happy that she won, but since all of a sudden it seems like Nicole likes Wolf, that means Steph must know that Nicole is probably going to want to get back at her. Like I mean, for not only being named Queen, but also winning with WOLF! I just have to say that I don't feel sorry for Nicole, even though I totally tried to make her feel better when it happened. Plus, Nic acted like if Stephanie hadn't won, then SHE would've for sure! How does she know? They didn't list second place! How self centered can someone be?!

Scene 4a-2k
I just had this great idea! Arnold and Mavis should have their own TV show! Hahahaha!!! It could be like wrestling or something, because it seems like they're ALWAYS arguing. Sometimes I think if two people argue that much, they must really like each other. What do you think, Meg? Could they maybe secretly have crushes on each other? That would be SO hilarious! They could go around as a team:  Arnie could tell everyone the names of the stars and then Mavis could tell them what astrological sign they make! In a weird way, they seem like a perfect match!

Scene 4a-2f
Poor Arnold! He tries so hard, but he's such a DUFUS! Tonight he really wanted to dance with the Ones, and they just completely blew him off and acted all horrified and all that. Pretty sad, even though it was funny to see how bugged they got about it. I sort of blew him off myself actually, but he was really acting like kind of a gobbling turkey boy or something. When he gets like that it makes you want to disappear in case people think you're with him or something. I just DON'T exactly like to be associated with really weird guys. I guess that's my problem. Especially if it makes a guy you secretly like feel that you're with someone else, someone who they don't think is that cool. Then maybe they won't even want to do anything with you.

P.S. Ruben's band is AWESOME. They changed their name to Rebel Angels. SOOOO perfect, don't you think??!

Scene 4b-2w
Strange thing, Meg:  Right in the middle of the dance, Jessie told me she wished Max would win King of hearts. When I heard that I started thinking I bet she even voted for him! Okay, do you think that means she LIKES him? I mean, if you voted for a guy for King, that would probably mean you definitely liked him, right? So wow, wouldn't it be crazy if Jess and Max ended up like boyfriend and girlfriend? I know you don't know them but believe me, it seems like a really hard-to-imagine couple to me. And if they did start liking each other and got together, would that make Jessie a One? I hope I don't sound jealous, because I'm not! NO WAY!

Scene 4b-2c
I felt really good (finally!) about what I decided to wear to the dance (and of course will send you pictures, for sure.) But then there was this kind of big mess when it came time to announce the King and Queen of Hearts. But wait! First my report on more strangeness:

Jessie and I were standing together at the dance and I decided to try to tell her what I'd seen Max doing, but when I did, she didn't even get really upset! I was kinda surprised about that, if you wanna know. I mean, I thought Jessie would think it was as weird as I did. But she even acted like she was on his side or something.

Then Chaz was totally implying that Jessie liked Max or something. Oh sure! But you know how guys are, like I mean the way they say stuff like that to just embarrass people or get them all tweaked or to start rumors or something? Or they'll tease a girl over nothing just to see how they act. I think that's exactly what Chaz was doing. But it IS really strange! Maybe I should tell Darnetta what happened and see if she knows anything -- since it seems like lately she and Jessie are always hanging out. Or is that TOO nosy?

So then the last kind of awful thing was that when the King and Queen announcement time came, Mrs. Herrera got up on the stage and gave this speech about cheating and all that. Just after Max came up to us, which made it all really weird (especially since he didn't win, and I think he expected to, I really did!) He was bummed out, that looked pretty obvious. But I do kind of think he was maybe flirting with Jess. SO BIZARRE!

Scene 4b-2i
All right, I know you don't want to hear me complaining, Meggers, but I feel like a total coward. I was standing at the dance with Jessie and Chaz and he started mentioning the whole Max cheating thing and I practically pretended like I didn't even hear him -- because I just didn't want to get into it. I really think Chaz wanted me to tell Jessie what happened, but I just couldn't. For some reason I'm starting to think that maybe Jess likes Max, so I just made up some completely crazy story that didn't even make sense -- and she stuck up for Max completely. Then you know what? She admitted she'd voted for him to be King! Maybe I'm not wrong, maybe she really does like him!

But I felt weird -- for sure -- when Mrs. Herrera got up and gave this whole big speech about cheating -- which she did right when Max happened to be standing there with us. I could see he was NOT happy about the whole situation either. I really wonder what was going on in his head about that whole stupid, unfair prank! I really do.

Scene 4c-2d
The amazing, red-headed Rockett Movado - blast off! - temper strikes again! Eccch! You should've seen me, Meg. It was kind of bad. Okay, Ruben's talking to me, right? And he just starts saying stuff about me standing there all alone and dateless (which I was, but he didn't have to make fun of me for it, did he?!). So I had to just IGNORE how cute he looked in his little Valentine's star boy outfit and I totally snapped at him. Then his friend Wolf comes up to us and he and Ruben were like the boy pack or something. Okay, Wolf did try to smooth things over maybe, but I snapped at him too. So they just instantly took off and left me standing there feeling dumb and like I over-reacted, as usual.

BOYS!! I don't know why I even let them get to me, ya know? In fact, I've gotta get more cool about things. Who CARES what they think??? One good thing was that my really cool computer lab teacher, Ms. Chen, was standing around there when it happened. And even though I was kind of embarrassed that she saw what happened, she was really great about it. She told me I should laugh Ruben off when he teases me like that. Yeah, right. I know I should, but HOW HARD IS THAT?? So okay, I admit it -- it's so much easier said than done! I know she's right, and now I feel really stupid. Ruben just makes me so nervous sometimes, ya know? Help!!!

Scene 4c-2f
Meggie, I have to describe to you what Mr. Baldus wore to the dance! Okay, picture a Pink ruffled tux! Uh huh, I kid you not! And he didn't even get a new toupee. Just the same old fuzzy, awful one! He looked like a pink bottle of stomach-medicine with fur on top! SO WEIRD!!! But Ms. Chen looked great, of course. She always looks like she stepped out of an exotic romance novel. Or as Jessie would probably say, a SPY novel! And everybody else all looked pretty good. Even though it's strange to see your teachers at a dance and dressed up and stuff. I wonder what I'll dress like when I get old. But whatever I do, just promise me you'll NEVER let me wear a pink tuxedo!

Scene 4c-2c
Okay, fashion report! I got a lot of compliments on all my dance decorations -- not to mention what I wore! Not trying to squeeze my feet into high heels was a really good idea, and Ruben even gave me a compliment on my shoes -- which was really sweet. Also, I noticed some girls were wearing sandals, which is kind of crazy since it's only February and still freezing cold when you go outside! Mom would never have let me do that, I'm sure. I guess I have to say that best hair goes to Nicole, who wore it up in this little flouncy mess that the guys kept talking about all night.

And okay, since we ARE on the subject of fashion -- Meg, you should've seen Ruben. Mega-cute to the unbelievable degree, I'm not kidding. (Isn't it sick that I can't stop talking about him? At least that's what it feels like.) I tried not to look like I was staring at how cute he was because I do NOT want him thinking I'm just one of those girls that's madly in love with him -- which I think there are probably a lot of in this school. How could there not be, right?

But anyway, he wore this cool suit, cool tie, AND a hat! Like kind of a gangster hat or something -- that looked totally radical on him. It's like you'd never expect to ever see him dressed like that. But you could just tell that girls thought he was amazing. And I think even the guys were a little envious of how cool he was and just like a band guy doing a cool thing. I'm sure they all wished they were him. Oh man, I gotta stop talking about it! SHHHHHH! Never tell anyone I'm confessing all this, PROMISE???

Scene 4c-3c
I learned a big lesson: If you do the right thing, the universe gives it back to you. Seriously! I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I acted like a good person, and guess what? Ruben totally complimented me on it! Now I know you can't expect instant feedback from the universe EVERY time you do something right, but it was sure nice! BTW -- I got butterflies in my stomach when he said he thought I was cool. Do you think that means what I think it means?

Scene 4c-3d
BIG NEWS (that's kinda hard to believe after my conversation with her in L.A. class last week):  Sharla showed up at the dance -- and with a really cute guy! I didn't see her with anyone at first. She came up to me and was pretty friendly, which also is surprising, I know. Then she left. Or at least I thought she did. But when I looked over by the bleachers she was standing there with a guy I didn't recognize. And I am serious when I said he was cute. He was in the Very Good Looking category for sure. Plus he looked kind of older so he was probably some high school guy she knows. But I was totally dying to ask her about it. But I didn't get the chance since all this stuff happened after that. Plus, I'd feel so nosy just going up to her and asking.

Another proof of how cute the guy was is that I ALSO caught Nicole checking him out. Which of course is kinda funny since Nic always acts so superior to Sharla. Like I said before, I think Sharla's really okay deep down. And I'm not just saying that because she complimented my decorations either.

Scene 4c-3s
Note to Meggie Muffin:  Remind me to stand in front of a mirror and check out what I look like when I dance. The reason I'm saying this is because during the dance I caught a sight of Duane Weevil dancing and I thought I'd just better make sure I don't look like THAT! Seriously, Meg, he looked like he was doing the funky chicken or something. Even Mr. Baldus can dance better!

Major Strange-O moment:  Dana St. Clair actually talked to me in a civil way, which as you should know by now is a big improvement from her normal attitude towards me! So hey, maybe things are looking up for me here at Whistling Pines -- in a lot of ways -- or I've fallen into one of the Zitbomb's alternate universes! Ha hah!

Scene 5-1r
Okay, so here's the dance wrap-up:  First most important thing, Ruben's band won the Battle of the Bands, and he looked SO RAD onstage! I LOVE the Rebel Angels (new name, remember??) Meg, I'll definitely be calling you tomorrow (Sunday) to give you all the details about everything that happened. It was all pretty great, as a matter of fact. Including (SHOCK!) my friend Jessie, who I always think of as kind of shy, but she got up and sang with Ruben right onstage in front of everyone. Since you don't know her it's probably hard for you to know how amazing that is. But it is. Everyone was totally in awe of her talent too, especially some of the boys, I'm pretty sure.

It was just so cool to watch her up there, ya know? All week before the dance she kept telling me she was going to do something that I'd be really surprised about and I couldn't at all figure out what it was. I never would've thought she could do that, but I admire her bravery to do it SO much! She is the sweetest and cutest girl in the 8th grade probably, so it's really cool to see her feeling enough confidence in herself to actually get up there! I'd NEVER be able to do that -- at least not without fainting or throwing up or something!

Another good thing was that everyone loved my decorations, and for the first time I felt like I was really beginning to fit in. Oh yeah, and the girls' band (Arrow and the Explorers) may not have won the Battle of the Bands, but everyone heard them play and found out they're really amazing! It just proves girls can do ANYTHING, if they're just really determined and believe it.

As we always used to say -- Gotta believe, right, Meggie? RIGHT!!

XOXO - Goodnight Best Friend!

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Secret Diary for my BEST of all friends Meggie Muffin!

Okay, first things FIRST!!! And you won't believe it:  RUBEN asked me to DANCE! I think it was like the best moment of my life up until now! In fact, when that happened I didn't even care about the Queen of Hearts thing one way or another. That is just so SMALL and not at all important when you think of yourself having friends who are great and who won't judge you on if you win a popularity contest or not. I am just SO jazzed right now, Meg!! Best of all, I'm beginning to feel kind of like I fit in here at Whistling Pines, even if it's still bumpy sometimes!

You know I always say that no one will ever be able to replace you as the best BF in the entire world, but at least I'm learning my way around here and even though there've been some weird times, it always seems like it's getting better, ya know? Even though I had that thing last semester where I tried to be a CSG, and all that, which you know, FAILED totally! Probably for the better though.

Not to change the subject or anything, but I feel like Ruben and I will maybe end up as even better than good friends. That's a total secret confession that I'd never say out loud to anyone but you! Sometimes I think about it and it just gives me this really great feeling inside. But I'm just going along trying to do my best and be as good a person as I can. And whatever happens will be okay if I can do that, right?

You are such a good friend and I just have to write it down because I'm thinking of all the people I really care about right now and you're right at the top of my list, M. No one could be a better friend than you, I'm not kidding!

Goodnight Meggie Muffin! Happy Valentine's Day!!!

XOXO, me

P.S. Forgot to tell you -- Arrow & the Explorers won the Battle of the Bands!!! In other words, GIRLS RULE!! And that girl who's on yearbook with me -- Darnetta? Well, she got up and sang with them and she rocked! It was amazing. I really like her and think she's pretty cool.

At first I thought Ruben would be upset about losing and I felt kind of sorry for him, but when we talked I could see that he was totally cool about it, which made me feel better. And who could be sad that a girl band won? What a GREAT night!!

GIRLS RULE!!!!!