The Whistler (website)/March 2000

March, 2000

A Piney St. Patrick's Day
by Max Diamond

The wearin' o' the green was no problem for students at staff at WPJH this month. Shamrocks were pasted and posted on every wall and locker, and gold coin confetti found its way into every class. The halls were crowded with kids dressed in bright green clothes, hats, shoes -- even green hair and skin! It was kind of like landing in the Emerald City of Oz. Though some obviously considered it more sci-fi than fantasy...

"There were so many green people, Arnold thought aliens had finally invaded Earth," quipped astrologer wannabe Mavis Wartella DePew. "Of course, if he had consulted me ahead of time, he would have known the stars were not favorable for invasion -- and he wouldn't have run his bike into the back of a parked bus by overreacting."

(Luckily, only the bike was damaged.)

Lunch was colorful, if not tasty, with grass-green hamburgers and fries, neon punch, and slime-lime jello. If you felt a little "green around the gills" after chowing down, there was plenty of the same hue awaiting you in the girls' and boys' restrooms, where some joker had added food coloring to all the toilets.

WPJH's own mascot, The Pine, was seen making the rounds, scattering clover from a bag. And speaking of bags, Ginger Baskin brought in her bagpipes and droned her way through the school band's rehearsal for the annual St. Patrick's Day Parade. The WPJH band will march down Main Street with other local high and junior high school bands this Saturday.

Maybe best of all was the afternoon Bake Sale, where a yummy assortment of cakes, cookies and and brownies were set out on long tables in the parking lot. But this reporter's rave for the day was the Paddy Pie Fight...where contestants ponied up 50 cents to try to plaster their favorite teacher in the puss with a green cream pie. Hardest hit was Science prof Mr. Shuliss, with Homeroom hero Mr. Baldus running a close second.

Said student Cleve Goodstaff: "I figure Mr. Pill would have won, hands down, after that disgusting meal -- but he was smart enough not to sign up."

Ms. Chen, Computer Lab coach, also stuck her neck out, but emerged dairy-free.

Commented Bo Pezanski: "I guess no one felt right about smacking a girl teacher with a messy pie." Rumor has it that B.P. was giving pie-throwers threatening glares when they tried to score on Chen. "No way. It's not my fault if they had crummy throwing arms. Maybe they just didn't want to risk their grade in class..."

Bake Sale business was brisk and over $350 was raised. The proceeds will go toward new soccer tees for the school team.

Other comments about the day's festivities came from various sources.

Jessie Marbella: "Green isn't really my color, but neither is black and blue, which is what happened when I forgot last year and got pinched to bits. So I sprayed my hair Chartreuse, just to be on the safe side."

Dana St. Clair: "If I can pitch as well in softball as I did in the pie fight, we should win some games for sure."

Sharla Norvell: "I like St. Paddy's okay. I mean, except for the part about the snakes and stuff. I'm glad we didn't re-enact THAT again this year."

Felicia Ravenswood: "It was like being in a movie about the perfect American small town. Very quaint."

Nicole Whittaker: "I had a great time -- until someone put a pie on my chair seat! And if I find out who that was, they are going to be VERY sorry..."

Rockett Movado: "I took tons of pictures for the yearbook. It was awesome. Only prob was my green face glitter started to itch, because of some kind of allergy. A red AND green face is not very attractive!"

This is your reporter, Max Diamond, wishing you the luck o' the Irish.

Ms. Tinydahl's Poetry Page
'''Spring has sprung and the very air is thrilling to breathe! It reminds me of the year I traveled by yak through the Himalayas: wandering through wonderful, dazzling snowstorms, free of any map or sense of direction, just riding onward, onward...with air so thin and light you felt as if you could fly right down into the ravines below...Marvellous! And then the air cleared and my yak pulled a small mouthful of grass up from under the snow. And there was a little flower in it...yes, spring had come. Let's celebrate with poetry! -- Ms. T.'''

The Golden Locket by Sheik

I have a golden locket Hidden in my heart, Filled with many memories Right from the start. This locket has been closed For years and years and years, And I'm so scared that when I open it there'll be tears Some will be of sadness And some will be of cheer But I will never hide again The locket lying here.

The Whisper by ChelseaRose1

I hear it in my ear, It comes to me through the wind. It tells that spring is here, That it will all begin.

I hear it in so many ways As it comes to me. I hear it through the birds these days And through the buds I see.

As a whisper it did begin, Yet there it did not stop. It relieved me from any sin, I did at winter's top.

It whispers now to me and you, That snow will melt and sun will shine. It tells me that the winter's through, A new world will be mine.

Spring may conquer anything, If it can wake the year. And all the joy that it did bring, When it whispered in my ear.

Irish Spring by Rubyred101

Leprechauns and their pots of gold, Stashed at the end of a rainbow. Spring breeze is in the air, Good-bye to snow.

Shamrocks and four-leaf-clovers, Hidden in the grass, Flowers are blooming in the soil, Snow has passed.

Faery folk are among us, Invisible to the closed heart, Frolicking in the beautiful forest, So open up, let it start.

Let your heart out to the sky, And during March you'll start to fly.

The Twisting River by Anonymous

The waters quiver In the twisting river. The birds sweep As the rabbits leap. The fawns drink As the leaves sink. The fish watch forever, Down in the twisting river.

Spring by Miayag

The whistling wind blows through my hair, Daffodils blooming over there. I walk around with a t-shirt and shorts, No more snowballs or icy forts. Winter is gone and spring is near, The air is so fresh, and the water so clear

A Bug's Holiday by Hannielou

Did you see the bugs go out to play? For the extra special bug holiday? The bugs had fun, they cheered and sang, They were so happy, the forest rang! It rang with the sound of the bumblebee Buzzing around quite merrily. It rang with the noise of the little cricket For such a fine voice you needed a ticket! There even was a tiny band For all the bugs who were at hand. All the bugs had lots of fun Playing in the bright shiny sun. On that wonderful, wonderful, wonderful day, The extra special bug holiday!

Mr. Pill's Menu
Top o' the morning to ya, little green-faced gerbils! It's time for a new Mr. Pill menu, chock full of all the tasty treats you like, to bring in the Spring! As usual, when the air thawed out, so did I -- my freezer, that is. And you would not believe all the little frozen wonders I found! So tuck in your napkin and take a seat. See ya in the cafeteria line...

St. Paddy Patties

Raw wheatgerm adds chewy texture to these deep-fried burgers made from snake belly, mashed brussel sprouts, lima beans, pine nuts, strawberry jam and chicken feet. Colored green to honor the day! Served on Toxic Toast with lots of mayo and chipotle fries.

Power Plant Soup

Warm your innards with 12 oz. of plutonium-laced chowder! My secret recipe includes spark plugs, wire spaghetti, pig jelly and last year's milk. Nuked till boiling hot and served in a lead bowl. Safety goggles included.

Duck Pond Salad

Nothin' like a cold salad on a warm spring day! Frozen spinach is hacked and tossed with fresh hedge clippings, pond reeds, frog eggs and fly larvae. Set on a cement plate lined with duck down and mud. Dried dragonflies crumbled on top make for extra crunch!

March Mystery Loaf

An annual favorite! Every plastic bag not labeled in the Science Lab freezer got ground up and formed into loaves. Basted with pea soup and iodine and baked till yellowish brown. Marshmallow bunny ears and shredded coconut topping give it a festive look.

Chow Down Mein

Spunky stir fry of okra, cactus, crab apples, pepperoni, green onions, lily ear and yams. Served on a bed of pan-fried earthworms and sauced with ginger, soy, motor oil and mouthwash.

 Dessert Of The Week  Slime-Lime Jello

What's more festive than finishing off a meal with my bright green jello in the shape of a shamrock? I've studded it with raisins, cheese puffs, lychees and only the slimiest baby slugs from Mrs. P's garden. A dessert that wiggles all the way down!

Editor's Pick:  Web Site Of The Month
As you may know, there are some people on this site that have a concern for the hungry. Well, a friend of mine told me to go to a place called: www.thehungersite.com. There you can donate food to the hungry for FREE!!! The sponsors pay for the food you donated and all ya have to do is push a button. I go there every day because I know that somewhere, somebody has no food and is starving to DEATH! That is a scary word to me, and you and I both have the food to prevent that. But what about places in Africa where they have no food? Think about it and if you have any further questions about this site, drop me a line! -- smartchica18

March Madness
with Katiesheeba1

Today, Dana St. [sic] claimed she saw a rabbit hop by the window. She said it had long fuzzy ears and -- gulp! -- pointed sharp teeth.

"It was as big as person!" exclaimed St. Clair.

Sound impossible? Well, here are some of the other students who claimed they saw it........

"There was this huge rabbit, right? And he went straight past that window down the hall," said Ruben Rosales. "And the weird thing? He was carryin' chocolate bunnies, jelly beans and robin eggs in his paws! Whazzup with that?"

"I know it might be my first year here, but I was walking down the hall with Cleve and this dark shadow went by the window," shivered Felicia Ravenswood.

"It was a monster of some sort, a monster with long ears and a twitching nose!" confirmed Cleve Goodstaff.

"I thought it might be some sort of early Easter prank," explained Principal Ms. Herrerra. "But where did it come from?

This reporter may have part of the mystery solved. Bill Pill, chef de yuk, claims that a rabbit snuck into his kitchen earlier today and somehow ended up in his "Spring Energizer Stew"! Sez Pill: "He drunk some of the stew and turned into this huge, hairy monster. Then he grabbed some goodies from the PTA's dessert platter and crashed outta here."

Everyone is advised to keep a sharp lookout, travel in groups, and avoid carrying any chocolate in their pockets.

Of course, as a reporter, I'm used to working alone in the school newsroom. I'm used to strange noises and weird thumps coming from the hall. I'm used to...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Get it off get it off!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….!!!

Voting Results
Femme Fashions Draw Votes

Here's a fashion preview of the latest voting activity, with tallied numbers and a look at Felicia Ravenswood in the winning costume. Thanks for voting, girls, and stay stylish!!

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Raven and Nicole: Different Points Of View
Nicole, honey, you need to chill out! There will be in your life people who seem a lot more popular than you. And you have to face the fact that things are not always going to seem right. And you're probably going to feel left out some times and it's not going to seem fair. We all know that the world is not fair. You're going to want to get back at Raven for taking away your popularity. But girlfriend, you got to realize that someday you might be the one standing back in the crowd looking for a friend. And though you can't always be the popular one, maybe you could be popular with Raven. In other words, BE HER FRIEND! Someday you're going to wonder, "Whatever happened to that spunky, happy and popular girl?" Oh yes, that's right, she has moved on! --sugargirl222

I really hope Ruben and Raven don't fall in love or something. Raven is real cool, I admit, but she already has enough luck. She seems so PERFECT. Let Rockett have some luck, too. And I'm sorry about the Nicole thing, but she can be a real snob, so I don't mind if Raven gets the crown...even just a little royalty for a little while. --PrettyC

I'm sure that you have heard of the new student Felicia "Raven" Ravenswood. And I'm also sure that you've seen how nervous all of the students at WPJH are about her. She is raising questions about popularity and boyfriends. She is majorly jeopardizing Nicole's popularity, and just too close to taking Rockett's "boyfriend." My opinion is that she is doing it all for fun. She often gloats in conversations or interviews about the things she has, places she has lives, and things that she has done. She "accidentally" speaks French, talks about her short modeling career or her fashions. Why all of the kids want to hang around her, I don't know. She is only making everyone jealous. I know every new kid only wants to make friends, but she is trying way too hard. If I were the kids at that school, I'd be acting more like Rockett or even Nicole. -- Karma Blue

Nicole and Raven have been fighting over who is the queen of fashion and looks. Some say Nicole has been at the top to long and Raven should be the queen and some say, "Nicole we still love you. Win your reputation back." The boys are without a doubt drooling every time Raven walks by. Girls are with Raven and her cool looks. Even Miko has found her as a great chess partner. Nicole has found this disgusting, how people have picked Raven in front of her. She is determined to win back her crown, but Raven is determined to take it away. The battle has started: either be neutral or take sides! --Unknown

Is she everything she appears to be? This reporter thinks that she is a big fake who's stealing certain guys from certain girls. Raven may be pretty, but looks can be deceiving. I predict that this Raven girl is in for a surprise from our one and only Nicole. I just want to say that everyone should watch out for this new girl. --Anon

What's up with Whittaker? Looks like the "sure of herself" leader of the Ones isn't so sure anymore. With the new globe hoppin' girl Raven blowin' everyone out of the water, what is a girl like Nicole to do? Keep Raven from Raven from reaching #1...or is it too late for Nicole? I'd hate to be in Raven's shoes, cause being the rave of the school might have its down sides when there are divas like Nicole out to getcha'! --Madison

Lucky Leprechaun Visits Student?
Was it a dream or a real bit of Irish mythology? Darnetta James may never know...

"I was sound asleep, when I heard something in my backpack a couple nights ago. So I opened it up and out hopped this squirrel. He said he was really a leprechaun, and because I had captured him -- even accidentally -- and then freed him, I would be granted three wishes! I figured I was still dreaming, right? I mean, whoever heard of a talking squirrel? And this isn't Ireland and I never heard of leprechauns over here -- unless maybe they just don't come around to my neighborhood. Anyway, I was freaked out. So...the first thing out of my mouth was, 'I wish I knew if I was dreaming or not..' Then the squirrel turned into a little man and he pinched my arm till I yelled at him to stop. That made me really grumpy, so I said, 'I wish you would just go away and let me get some sleep!' And he disappeared! That freaked me even more, so then I said, 'I wish I had never said that!' And he came back! But by then I had used all three wishes up, so he just smiled and ran out the window. Wouldn't you just know the one time something really lucky happens to me, I'm too sleepy to be smart about it?"

Well, you know what they say: be careful what you wish for! And hey, Darnetta -- it coulda been worse!

The Knot Hole
The place to come for bits of gossip, special ads, and notes to readers...

Hello everyone! I am looking for recipes for a recipe book for baby-sitters, that me and my friends are putting together -- and yes, we are trying to publish it. So if possible please send me a postcard with a recipe or tips for baby-sitting. And in return I will send you a treasure in return and place your name in my recipe book! We would be ever so grateful if you could send us recipes or tips! Oh yes, and one last thing to say, this isn't exactly a club, YET. It will be after we collect enough recipes. So please send me recipes and tips! Thanks!--Ladeeda777

Nature Walk is an environmental club with ideas on planting, creating a nature book, and even organizing your own trash walk around the neighborhood. The club has 7 spaces left and they're for all ages. There's also a newspaper that you can write in and friends to chat with. Interested? Please write to PunkieO.

Tara's Treasure Club. A cool club for people to get lots of treasures and postcards. Join this month and get a bonus treasure. 10 person limit, so please hurry. --luvtocheer1

Horselovers club!! Founders dandy2000, horseowner45 and horsegal14. Get a newsletter filled with horse fun, polls and contests! Please write to join.

Hey girls! How would you like to be in a club to diScuss girl things, collect treasures (you get one a week), get a newsletter, get Q&A; advice, school help, sports talk, learn about your favorite things, horoscopes, and much, much more?! If you write, I will answer you within 24 hours. Promise! There is no limit on how many girls can join and we will be kept in prim shape. So please mail me if you are interested in joining. Write for more information. Thanks for reading! --lovekristen1

I have some rare treasures, like Ginger's china bird. I'm trying to make a club for girls who like horses and collecting treasures, like saying what treasures to get, keep, or get rid of. The Positions are open for Vice President, Booker (someone who gives ideas about what books to read), Treasurer (someone who decides about the treasure part), Puzzler (someone who decides what we should have for our poll) and Questioner (someone who has questions for us to think about until we talk again). --MissAshton

I have a club called ULOF, Universal League of Friends. (And no, I did not copy the club International Circle of Friends.) You get a newsletter once a month and a update report every two weeks. We do lots of fun things and have a lot of contests. The good thing about this club is you don't have to have a certain birthsign or like a certain sport, YOU CAN JUST BE YOU! You can reach me at cutegirl107 or if my mail box is full you can also write to monkeyturtle. LIMITED SPACES!! So hurry!

Who is the best character at WPJH? Send me a post card telling me who you think it is. You can also tell me why if you want to, but you don't have to. I promise that everyone that votes will get a post card telling them who won. Send me a postcard by May 1st. --galaxy789

CAT LOVERS: I am starting a cat lovers club. We will trade kitty treasures and funny or cute stories about the fluffiest of all animals...our own pet cats!!! Write to alllisonwndld.

Hi! I'm starting a club for girls who are 10 or younger. We trade treasures, write stories, discuss the latest books, and have loads of fun! If you want to join write me, dudette200, with your age, gender, and favorite activity. First 2 people to get admitted get treasures.

Love contests? Well here's one for you: The person who can write the best poem wins 7 treasures. 2nd and the rest get one. Everyone wins, so try! Write to salem6.

You heard of cuppyluv's petpound, now come to cuppyluv's treasure pet show! Bring your pet in and I'll tell what tricks it can do, how intelligent it is, and I'll give you a pet certificate! There are 3 contests. #1 Beauty contest; #2 Trick contest; #3 Rarest contest. For more info, write cuppyluv!

I just wanna say that clubs take a lot of work (I USED to have one). First, because of all the girls on Purple Moon, you get bombarded with postcards. Then you have to spend a couple of hours a day to keep it up and interesting. And you could have a limited amount of members but then someone would get their feelings hurt. So you have to be willing to do a lot of hard work! If you are willing to work hard, e-mail me with questions about your club or starting one and I'll answer them, no cost. Just write to SMSPeace.

Do you like horoscopes? Well, if so, I've got the totally teen one for you and your dream guy!! It even has your best March days for Love and him!! Write to Berelracer!! I can't wait to tell you!

Hey do u like jewels, gems, rings, and necklaces?? Join the "Jewel Trading Club". For joining I'll send u a jewel treasure. In this club we will trade cool jewels!! To join, contact JewelChick05.

If anyone needs help with Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I can probably help. Just don't ask me to guide you through an entire temple or something like that. Contact ZeldaGirl18 if you want help. I am also known as ghostgirl18. Hope I can help!!

Do you like anime?? Such as Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, or Poke'mon? If so please write GinyuFroggy!! I'm not starting a club, but simply a group that all like Anime!! Write Soon!!

My friend and I have an advice thing for girls on Purple Moon! If you send a postcard to either CandyGirl300 or laurarose12 with a problem, then we'll have some great advice for you, guaranteed! So far we've had 6 people (we're new), and they all were very grateful. Thanks a bunch!

I am starting a club for girls 10-12 who play the flute. The G*W*P*T*F*C*(girls who play the flute club). There will be a membership treasure. The first 5 people will become members. If you would like to join, and write a paper for the club, please say so in your post card. --thecoolgirl5

If your looking for a new friend here on Purple Moon, I'll hook you up with one. Just send a postcard to DancingTiger. In it, tell me how old you want your pal to be. I'll hook you up with one A.S.A.P.!